Xander's birth story

Just a few hours old!

Warning: this is a post about Xander's birth.  I will try not to be too graphic, but if you are squeamish you may want to skip this one!

Giving birth is quite the experience.  It is beautiful and horrible, messy and miraculous, all at the same time.  And it changes you forever.  I don't want to forget the details of the event that made me a mama (well, some of the details would be nice to forget!), so here it is.

On the night of August 10th, I went to bed just like any other night.  But sometime in the wee hours of the 11th, something changed.  I couldn't sleep well, which wasn't unusual for an overdue pregnant woman, but this time there was a pattern to the discomfort.  By 3 a.m. I realized that the light cramping I was feeling might be contractions and started timing them.  By 5 a.m., they were 5-7 minutes apart and a combination of nerves and discomfort had me unable to go back to sleep.  When James got up, I told him I was having contractions and might be in early labor, so we decided to forego church and instead we did some things around the house to get ready, just in case.  All morning and afternoon, this continued without much change.  It felt like a cramp that started in my back and then radiated around to my lower belly, and was uncomfortable, but not too bad.  By early afternoon things were still the same, and I was getting frustrated.  A call to my midwife confirmed that I was most likely in early labor, a stage that could last 12 to 18 hours, and that I should go to the hospital when the contractions were 3-4 minutes apart.  While I was happy to get the show on the road, I was pretty bummed that my midwife wasn't going to be there for the birth; she was out of town until the 13th.  Finally, by 5 p.m. the contractions were getting longer, and by 8 p.m. I could no longer talk through them.  I used this time to use the relaxation methods I had learned in my Bradley class, and that seemed to help a little.  By 10 p.m., the contractions were sufficiently intense that we decided to head to the hospital.

I had several contractions just getting from the car to labor and delivery, and by the time they checked me I was 5 centimeters dilated and the contractions were about 2 minutes apart.  After the initial 30 minute monitoring period they let me get off the bed and I labored on a birthing ball for a while.  However, the baby's heartbeat kept dropping during the contractions, so they made me get back in the bed on my side with oxygen.  This position was much better for the baby, but much more painful for me.  By 1 a.m., I was 9 centimeters dilated and the contractions were almost on top of each other, and very long. I had read that transition usually doesn't last too long, maybe an hour or so, but unfortunately this was not the case for me.  My labor stalled at 9 centimeters because of a cervical lip that wouldn't go away.  I was so exhausted that I would fall asleep for the few short seconds between contractions.  The Bradley techniques no longer worked and it was impossible for me to do any sort of relaxing.  It was all I could do just to breathe; James had to keep reminding me not to hyperventilate.  I was squeezing his hands for all I was worth.   After 3 hours of this, I was feeling very defeated and like I just couldn't continue, so I reluctantly asked for an epidural.  But before they could prep me, my water broke with a pop.  Because of this, the nurses said I could try one push to see if that would make the lip recede, and sure enough, it did!

At 4:45 a.m. they let me start pushing.  This phase was just as painful, but instead of just being along for the ride and feeling like my body was tearing apart, I felt like I could help accomplish something, which was a morale booster for me.  Plus the contractions got further apart, giving me a little bit of a much-needed break in-between.

At 6:37 a.m. on August 12, 27.5 hours after my labor started, they placed a 9 pound, 7 ounce miracle on my chest.  Then they proceeded to stitch me up for an hour.  I didn't know at the time, but Xander's shoulder had gotten stuck and the doctor had to do some major maneuvering to get him out.  That coupled with his hefty size meant a 4th degree tear for me.  I'll spare you the details of that, but it means LOTS of stitches.  I am just thankful that they didn't have to break his collarbone to get him out as is sometimes necessary in cases of shoulder dystocia; I'll take the stitches over that any day.  I am also very thankful that my doctor is apparently a whiz at stitches and I didn't need reconstructive surgery which is common with 4th degree tears.

I have a lot of emotions about Xander's birth.  The biggest one is gratitude that I have a healthy, beautiful baby.  In the end, it was all worth it of course.  But honestly, I feel a bit traumatized by the experience.  I am glad that I was able to go drug free, but if my next delivery (yes I still want a second baby at some point in the future) is as long and difficult, I might seriously consider getting an epidural.  But God is good and my husband was wonderful, and together we got through it.  I was so blessed to have James there with me, he was such an encouragement and help, even though I know I scared him.  He kept me going and stayed strong for me.   And the hospital was wonderful, I felt like I received great care there.  I would have preferred to have my midwife there of course, but the doctor on call was really nice and encouraging and did a wonderful patch up job on me.  The nurses were all so helpful and sweet, and everybody did their best to respect my birth plan.  And it was really great to have so much help for the two days I was in the hospital.  I was unprepared for how completely and utterly spent and sore I would be.  It felt like I stayed up all night, then ran a marathon, then finished it off by getting hit by a truck.  I pretty much stayed in bed the entire time I was there; just taking a quick shower took all my energy.

I am healing well now, and feeling much more normal, though I am still sore and using my donut to sit.  We have a wonderful church here that has been bringing us meals and my mom came to stay with us for a week, which was so wonderful!  So far Xander is a pretty easy baby most of the time, though all newborns have to eat every few hours around the clock, so sleep deprivation is my biggest challenge right now.  Nights are hard.  Breastfeeding is going well, though I still have some soreness.  James went back to work this week, so I am adjusting to being on my own with an infant.  So far, it has been manageable.  Today we both took a 2-hour nap and it was glorious!

I just marvel at this beautiful baby; what an amazing gift we have been given.  We love him so very much.  And now I will end this post with more pictures.  I am biased, but I think we have the cutest baby ever!

Going home from the hospital

  

These Days...

These days...

I have lost all sense of a normal routine.  The only routine I can count on is that Xander will need to eat every 2-4 hours.

I have trouble remembering to brush my teeth.  Or if I already did brush my teeth.

I have redefined a good night's sleep as getting 3 hours in a row.  Sleep deprivation is no joke.

I am very much looking forward to the day when I no longer need to sit on a donut cushion to be "comfortable."

I am hoping that my body will eventually stop being so sore and start feeling like mine again.

I am enjoying chocolate cake, cookies, and other desserts on a daily basis.  Thank you extra 600 calories a day required for nursing!

It is a lot harder to get anywhere on time.

It takes 3 times as long to get anything done.

I could spend hours staring at my baby's beautiful face.  Who needs TV?

I love watching my husband rock and sing to the baby.  So sweet!

Our world has certainly been turned upside down, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  We're so thankful for our sweet boy!

Welcome to the world!

Xander is here!  Born at 6:37 a.m. on August 12, weighing in at 9 lbs 7 oz, and 21.5 inches.  I'll have to write about the delivery later, that will take more time than I have right now.  But I managed to labor for 27 hours and deliver naturally with no meds, and I am happy about that.  Due to his size and the fact that his shoulder got stuck during delivery, I tore pretty badly, so recovery is going slowly.  Breastfeeding is going well, though it definitely has its challenges; the biggest one being it hurts!  I'm hoping this phase won't last too long and we'll get the hang of things soon.  I have to say, new motherhood is a completely overwhelming and amazing experience so far.  My body is a train wreck, my hormones are all out of whack, my emotions are all over the place, and my life revolves completely around the baby's needs.  But he is beautiful and perfect and we are so in love with him. What a blessing! 

Still Cookin'

Yep I'm still here, and still pregnant, 2 days overdue.  Unless there is a good medical reason, I do not plan to induce until 42 weeks, which is the longest they will let me go, and my midwife is fine with that.  I have a non-stress test next week if I am still pregnant then to make sure everything still looks fine.  I am really hoping to avoid induction; I want baby to come when he is ready and I want things to go as naturally as possible.

At this point, how I feel about still being pregnant changes quite frequently.  My midwife is out of town until Tuesday, so currently I'm hoping Xander waits until then.  It helps that I really don't feel too bad.  I am uncomfortable of course, and very ready to get my body back, but not miserable.  But I can't say I'm not looking forward to getting this over with and meeting my baby! So if I'm still pregnant on Tuesday, I'll be doing a lot of walking and eating spicy food. Until then, I'm just hanging out, keeping up with housework, reading books and spending quality time with James, trying to enjoy the last few days before our lives are changed forever!  

39 weeks

Dear Xander,

We have made it to 39 weeks!  This is a milestone because all your organs should be fully formed and ready to function in the outside world, you should have a nice, cute layer of fat to keep you warm, and I won't have to mentally readjust to a July birthday.  That would have been weird after expecting you to come in August for so long!  But now August has arrived.  The nursery is ready and waiting for you.  We have all the stuff we need for you and a lot of stuff we don't need!  Your clothes and blankets are washed and put away.  I have painted and decorated and cleaned what seems like every inch of the house (apparently the nesting gene in me manifests itself in an urge to paint everything in sight).  I've read lots of books and we've taken classes to prepare ourselves.  I stuffed the freezer and pantry with food and my hospital bag is packed.  Everything is done!  All we need now is you.  And we are SO excited to meet you, baby boy!  So you can feel free to come whenever you are ready.  Preferably sooner rather than later; you are quickly running out of room in there!  We are anxiously waiting for you.

Love, Mommy

P.S. - I'm not kidding, please come soon.  :-)

Our kitchen reveal

When we bought this house, our kitchen looked like this.  

It's definitely not the worst kitchen ever; the previous owners had installed the backsplash and upgraded the counters, but I was not a fan of the builders-grade orange-y outdated cabinets.  I love white kitchens.  They look so clean and crisp, and white really is classic and easy to blend with the style of the rest of your house.  So one of the things on my house to-do list was to paint the cabinets white.  And I figured that now would be the best time to do it, while I'm not working, and before the baby comes.  

So I did a lot of research on the best way to do it, and read wonderful things about Benjamin Moore's Advance paint.  It's a latex paint that dries like an oil-based paint, and it doesn't need a top coat.  At $42 a gallon, it is a bit pricey, but I figured if we're going to do this, we'd better do it right.  So over the Fourth of July 4-day weekend, I bought a gallon in Super White (I ended up having to go back for another quart toward the end of the process), primer and painting supplies, and we borrowed an electric sander and got to work.

The first day being the fourth of July, we really only got all the hardware and doors removed and labeled, and the painting area prepped.  We set down drop cloths and 2x4s to set the doors on so they could dry.

The next day James got down to sanding the 42 cabinet doors and drawers outside (yes, we have a lot of cabinets, which is awesome! Until you have to paint them.) while I cleaned them off inside and used wood putty on the old hardware holes that we wanted to change.  I just used Lysol kitchen and bathroom wipes. They did a good job, but we went through about 2.5 tubs when all was said and done.  James also sanded the cabinet frames.  This step took two whole days of work, which I wasn't expecting.  It would have taken even longer but we had wonderful friends come help us.

Then we had to prime everything.  The lady at Benjamin Moore said that no primer was needed, but I wanted to get the most out of the expensive paint, so we primed.  We ran into a bit of a space issue - we didn't have quite enough room in our house to lay out all the cabinet doors and drawers at once, so we had to do as many as possible and let those dry, then stack them up to make room for the rest.  Then we turned them over and started all over again with the other side.  The primer was dry to the touch after 2 hours, so that wasn't too big of an issue, but the paint took 4 hours to dry to the touch, and 16 hours before a second coat could be applied.

The whole next week while James was at work I painted...and painted....and painted some more.  Everything needed two coats of paint and a 16 hour dry time inbetween, and I didn't want to rush to make sure I was applying the paint evenly.  I started with the back side of the doors and let those dry, and then flipped them over to do the front side so that if there were any smudges or blemishes from being set down on the 2x4s, it would be less noticeable on the backs of the doors.  I tried using a small fine-nap roller but it didn't go on smoothly and I didn't like the way it looked.  The Benjamin Moore site said not to use a foam roller either, so I did everything with a brush; 1" for the trim and 2" for the inside.  I was worried about brush strokes, but the paint really was awesome and self-leveled after a few minutes, making them almost invisible.  I still made sure to brush all the same direction though.

Finally, I finished painting on July 15.  I had originally estimated that it would take 5, maybe 6 days total, but it took me 11.  It would have taken a few less, but I still had things to do so a couple of those days I didn't get much painting done.  By the time I was done, I was so sick of painting, and so ready to have my house back!  Just looking at these pictures makes me cringe.  I really don't like clutter and chaos, it makes me anxious.  But we had one more step:  the paint can recommended letting it sit for 3-5 days to let the paint harden to prevent nicks and scratches.  So finally, 2 full weeks after we started the project, our wonderful friends came over again and we spent the evening hanging the doors back up and installing new hardware.  The hinges are hidden so we kept those, but we got new knobs and pulls.  We used most of the same holes, but some of the upper cabinets we re-drilled because I didn't like the placement of the old knobs.  

Here are the 'after' pictures of my new kitchen!

I absolutely love it!  It looks so much lighter and more modern and not so cave-like.  The paint has held up great so far.  I haven't seen any dings, and it wipes clean very easily.  You can still see some of the wood grain, which I like, but no brush strokes.

So was it worth it?  Two weeks removed from the process, I will say yes.  It makes a world of difference for relatively cheap.  And by that I mean that it was much cheaper than any major update like new counters or appliances (that dingy off-white oven will be the first to go when we're ready for new appliances!).  That being said, it took almost twice as long and almost twice as much money as I was expecting, and being so close to my due date, it caused me a lot of stress.  I kept having visions of the baby coming early and us bringing him home to a wrecked house full of sawdust and drop cloths.  Fortunately that did not happen!  So yes, it was worth it in the end, but if I were to do it over I would have started earlier in the pregnancy and been more realistic about how long it would take and how much it would cost.