What they don't tell you

When you announce that you are pregnant, everyone has something to say.  Usually right after the congratulations come warnings from well-meaning parents. 

"I puked the whole 9 months."

"Get the epidural.  Believe me you are going to want it."

"Get ready for your whole life to change."

"Sleep now because you'll never sleep again!"

"Get ready to start hemorrhaging money.  Babies are expensive."

"Free time?  I don't remember what that is anymore."

"Are you sure you're ready for this?  Kids are a lot of work."

All this is true, if not somewhat terrifying for the soon-to-be new parent.

But what they don't tell you is how amazing it is to nurture and grow a human being inside your own body.  To carry it and feel its little life expanding.  The little kicks and movements that are only known to you.  How  much beauty there is even amid the pain as you give birth to new life.  How a part of you is unlocked the instant that baby arrives and you enter into motherhood, a state that will indeed change you forever, for the better.  

They don't tell you how much your heart will expand with so much love for this tiny person that you don't know how it doesn't burst open.  They don't tell you about all the laughter and joy, and how wonderful it is to watch your baby grow and learn and become their own person.  How much fun it is to see the world through the eyes of a child.  How they become your whole world and you can't and would never want to imagine life without them.

Yes, parenting is hard, there are many challenges.  You will be stretched beyond what you thought yourself capable of.  You will have to give of yourself for the sake of your child, often when you don't want to or feel like you just can't give any more. But they fail to mention that all the difficult things, the hard things about parenting, every single thing is so worth it and you would do it ten times over for the privilege of being their mother.  

5 months old

Hard to believe my baby is 5 months old!

Weight: 14 pounds

Height: 26 inches

Every month Xander learns more things.  Yesterday he rolled over from back to front for the first time!  Unfortunately I missed it, he waited until I walked out of the room.  He is also getting closer to sitting up, he can stay upright for a few wobbly seconds with the boppy around him.  He has no teeth yet but is drooling and gnawing on things like crazy.  He has suddenly noticed the dog; when Casper walks over to him, he gets a giant grin on his face and sometimes laughs, it's very cute.  He loves to reach for things and grab things, and promptly puts them in his mouth.  It is getting very difficult to change his diaper because he grabs my arm and kicks and wiggles. He likes to play peekaboo and airplane with daddy. He is so vocal now!  He "talks" and makes funny noises all the time.  He laughs and squeals and happily babbles.  Instead of crying when he wants something, he has started whining and complaining.  He gets frustrated at his play mat now because the toys aren't hanging low enough for him to put them in his mouth, so after a few minutes of trying, he starts "yelling" at them. It's very cute.  Also, his eyes are starting to change colors.  They started out that steely gray color that most newborns have, and now they look kind of hazel/green to me.  I am very curious to know if he will end up with daddy's brown eyes or if they will stay hazel.  I'm rooting for hazel since it's a cross between my blue/green eyes and James' brown.

This past month he has gotten much easier to take places.  He likes the noise and interesting sights of public places and he is content to sit in my lap and look around; he'll even fall asleep without fussing if he's tired.  He is even getting better in the car.  We put some toys on his carseat for him to look at, and if he's not too hungry or tired, he doesn't scream like he used to.  He was a good little traveler at Christmas.  Other than fussing because he was hungry, he didn't seem to have any issues with flying.  Even when he hardly slept during the day and didn't get to go to bed until late on the days we flew, he did surprisingly well.  He is pretty flexible, and several people commented on how chill he is.

We had to do a little bit of work this month on the sleep situation, and he is starting to do better.  He still wakes up two or three times a night usually, but that is a lot better than it was.  Probably the biggest improvements are that he is now sleeping in his own crib, I don't have to rock him for 30+ minutes every time he needs to sleep, and he no longer wakes up immediately when I set him down.  Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit has been a big help with these things and allows us to not have to swaddle him.  I have also realized that sometimes he just needs 5 or 10 minutes to fuss a little and put himself back to sleep.  I used to rush in as soon as he made noise and I think I was keeping him from learning how to go back to sleep on his own.

We love our little munchkin!

A New Year

It is 2014.  I'm not sure how that is possible!  As a kid, the years passed so slowly.  As an adult, I blink and another year has passed.  

2013 was a monumental year for us, obviously.  This year I learned how amazing the human body is.  My body grew another human.  From a tiny clump of cells to a 9 lb 7 oz miracle with 10 tiny fingers and 10 tiny toes.  And then in the most incredibly beautiful and painful moments of my life, he left my body to start his life in the world, and I went from girl to Mama; changed forever. My life is so much richer, so much fuller, because of my sweet little boy.  What a year it has been for me.

In the 4 short months he has been alive, Xander has mastered smiling, laughing, rolling from front to back, grabbing things, and is well on his way to sitting up and rolling from back to front.  He loves his play mat, jumparoo, pacifier, ball, feet, and getting his diaper changed.  He does not enjoy sleeping nearly as much as I would like, but we are working on that and have seen great improvement.  We love seeing his personality blossom.

James completed another year with Lockheed Martin, and is enjoying his job for the most part.  He loves working on the F-35 and feels like he is useful and needed at his job, but he does not enjoy the variable hours; he often has to go in early or work late or on Saturdays with little or no warning.  He got his test conductor qualification this year and that is a big accomplishment, I am proud of him.  He has also really shined in the husband department and is a fantastic daddy.  He takes such good care of me and is very involved and loving with Xander, I just love seeing him in this role. We are so blessed to have him!

We are loving our church and friends, God has been so faithful to provide them for us.  I have a small playgroup that I take Xander to (though it's really more for the mamas!), and James enjoys board game nights.  We were attending a small group but it got difficult to go because of Xander.  I am hoping to go to a Bible study this year now that he is a little older.

We are enjoying our cozy little house and there are things about Maryland that we like, but we would both like to move back to Texas at some point to be closer to family.  We are thinking 2015 might be a good year for that but it will depend on James' job.

I can't wait to see what this new year holds for us!