That is going to be my word for 2015.
2015?! I don't know how it can possibly be 2015 already. It does not feel like 15 years have passed since the year we rang in the new millennium and I started high school.
Anyway, I always feel reflective and pensive on January 1. What did I accomplish last year? What do I hope to accomplish in the year to come? It seems I always have higher hopes than accomplishments. But that is OK. Better to have high goals and fall short than to have no goals and accomplish nothing.
So here are my concrete goals for 2015.
1. Read more. I always have reading goals, because reading has been one of my true loves in life since I learned how at 4 years old. I used to read voraciously, but recently I have found two major distractions that keep me from reading as much as I would like: technology, and Xander. I can't do anything about that second reason obviously, but I can definitely do something about the first. It is so easy for me to get on my tablet to check Facebook "real quick", and then 30 minutes later, I've wasted all my reading time. I just need to be more intentional about not frittering my free time away. My actual goal is to read 3 books a month: one parenting book, one Christian or marriage book, and one for fun book. I probably won't accomplish this, but it's something to work toward.
2. Speaking of reading, I want to read the Bible all the way through. I have done this a couple of times in my life, but I got a new Bible for Christmas, the ESV reader's Bible, and I would like to just read it cover to cover. It's time I did it again.
3. James and I have a joint resolution this year to be really good with our budgeting and saving. When we were both working, we saved my income, so we didn't really have to be as strict with our monthly budget. But since I stopped working, we have to be strict in order to stay within our budget AND save for all of our long-term expenses/goals. We haven't been very good at this in recent years and therefore haven't saved as much as we should have. It's time to buckle down. On the plus side, come October we will send in the last payment of James' student loan and be completely debt free (except for our mortgage)! That will feel really good.
That brings me to my word for the year. Contentment. Personal character goals are always much harder to track progress, but I need to work on this. I always get very stressed when working on our budget. Why? Well, partially it is because being a grown up stinks - the government takes a third of your money, food and housing costs a bloody fortune, and there's always something that needs to be fixed or purchased or replaced. But a lot of it is because the budget reminds me that I have to exercise restraint and limit myself. I hate to admit it, but this doesn't come easily for me. I struggle with contentment and entitlement even as I fight against it. It's not pretty.
I get caught in a negative thinking pattern - I need more money, more stuff, more square feet, more luxuries. We live in an area with a high median income, it is hard not to compare. I don't live in my dream house, I don't drive my dream car, I don't have a smart phone, cable TV, or the body I had in college. And I feel like I need more or better to be happy.
Well that is a lie. I will never be happy with more or better stuff. I know that, and yet I still fight discontentment. I'm not saying that I am not happy; in general, I am very happy. But it creeps up on you slowly until you can only see what you don't have.
So this year, I am making a conscious effort to choose contentment. I have a God who loves me, a wonderful family, a warm cozy house, plenty of food to eat, and more stuff than I could ever need. It is enough; it is more than enough. This year I choose contentment.
Whatever the cost, Thou hast taught me to say, "It is well, it is well with my soul!"
