Ouch

Pilates beat me up yesterday.

I've never actually been punched in the stomach, but this is what I imagine that it feels like.  It hurts to laugh, cough, walk, and sit up.  It even kind of hurts to breathe.

Oh wait, I have been punched in the stomach!  I forgot.  When I was a scrawny adolescent one of my peers punched me for no apparent reason and another one of them laughed.  At least, I don't remember there being a reason.  Maybe I was being annoying and bossy.  I wouldn't be surprised.

Anyway, I've never been one for exercise, so actually using my muscles apparently makes them mad and me useless.  And now they are exacting their revenge.  Last night after Pilates, I went home and watched 1600 episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress" because I was too tired to get off the couch.

Oh well, at least now I know I've got muscles.

A radical shift in perspective

We recently finished watching the Radical series online in our small group.  And I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around the truths I have been learning.  We have been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of praying, and a lot of soul searching.

Radical has been about what Jesus really said about the Christian lifestyle; what it really looks like to follow Him.  And I am discovering that my life doesn't match up.  This comes as a shock to me!  All my life I have been in church, raised by a family who loves God and spent a lot of time teaching me the Bible.  So how have I missed so much?

If you would have asked me before we watched Radical if I thought I was living the way God wants his children to, I would have said yes.  There are many verses in the Bible about Christian character that I am aware of and try to follow, such as the fruits of the spirit, loving others, having joy, etc.  These were all things that I heard many times growing up and still strive for today.  But I am learning a whole new side of Jesus and I am shocked that I have never understood this before. 

Jesus spoke a lot about giving.  We view our money and possessions as blessings from God to be used on ourselves,  but 2 Corinthians 9:11 says
"You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in Thanksgiving to God."

Jesus said that it is hard for the rich man to enter the kingdom of God.  I have never really paid attention to that verse before.  And it is partially because I have never viewed myself as rich.  And if I look around me, I'm not.  But what is around me in the suburbs of America is not what most of the world looks like.  I am exceedingly wealthy compared to most people in the world.

Jesus said to help the poor, feed the hungry, care for the orphan and widow.  Even the old testament has many verses that say that. 

"If you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday."  Isaiah 58:10

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  James 1:27

"Then those righteous ones will reply, 'Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you?  Or thirsty and give you something to drink?  Or a stranger and show you hospitality?  Or naked and give you clothing?  When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?'  And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'" Matthew 25:37-40

Clearly, the heart of God is with the least of these.  And somehow, I translate those verses to mean that I'm doing good when I tithe and sponsor one child for $35 a month. I spend many more times that amount on myself without thinking twice.

Paul said that we should be content with food and clothing and that those who desire to  be rich fall into a snare.  I have so much more than food and clothing, and I struggle with being content with what I have at times.

Jesus told the rich young ruler to sell everything he had to follow Him, but he went away sad.  If I am honest with myself, would I have responded any differently?

The Bible says that our money is God's and we are just stewards.  Then how do I justify selfishly spending it for myself when there are so many people in extreme poverty?

It has become apparent to me that I am not following God in this area of my life.  I am following my selfish desires and the American dream.  It is true that where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 

I am identifying deeply right now with this beautiful prayer from the Book of Common Prayer:

Most merciful God,
we confess that we have sinned against you
in thought, word, and deed,
by what we have done,
and by what we have left undone.
We have not loved you with our whole heart;
we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.
We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,
have mercy on us and forgive us;
that we may delight in Your will,
and walk in Your ways,
to the glory of Your name.
Amen.

I truly want to be a Christ follower.  I thank the Lord for His grace and forgiveness and that my salvation is not dependent on works, because I fall so short.  I pray that my heart will always be sensitive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and that I will have the courage to follow through with my convictions, even when they are counter-cultural and scary.

Homemade granola bars

Last weekend I got adventurous and decided to make some granola bars.  Most snack food that you buy premade has preservatives, or lots of refined sugar in it and I am slowly trying to weed those things out of our diet. 

This recipe actually turned out pretty good, both James and I like them.  And I can say that they are the perfect snack to hold me over between meals.  They are nutritious, but not low calorie, so I may try to figure out how to tweak it.  I think they are a little too sweet, so you could probably reduce the amount of honey and they would work just fine.

Emeril's Nutty Granola Bars

3/4 c. honey
2 Tbsp. unsalted butter (I used salted because that's what I had in my fridge)
3 c. old-fashioned rolled oats
1 1/3 c. slivered almonds (I probably only used half that amount)
coarse salt
1 c. raisins or other dried fruit (I used half a cup of craisins and half a cup of chocolate chips because that's what I had on hand)
1/3 c. creamy almond butter (I used peanut butter)
1/4 c. light-brown sugar

Preheat oven to 325.  In a small saucepan, heat 1/4 c. honey and butter over low.  Cook, stirring, until butter melts, 2 minutes.

In a large bowl, combine oats, almonds, and a pinch of salt.  Drizzle honey mixture over oat mixture and stir to combine.  spread mixture evenly on a large rimmed baking sheet.  Bake until golden brown, about 20 mins.  Let cool completely on sheet, 10 minutes.  Return to large bowl and add fruit, stir to combine.

Lightly butter (I used Pam) an 8-in. square baking dish.  In saucepan, combine 1/2 c. honey, peanut butter, and brown sugar over medium.  Cook, stirring occasionally, until mixture comes to a boil and sugar dissolves, 10 minutes.  Drizzle over oat mixture and stir until combined; transfer to baking dish.  With a spatula, firmly press granola into dish.  Refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour, then cut into 16 bars.

Store in an airtight container at room temperature, up to 5 days.

258 calories per bar

Awareness

Warning: this post contains PG-13 topics.

Human trafficking.  What does that even mean? Where is it done?  How big of a problem is it? I had no idea until recently.

There are between 12 and 27 million people, most of the women and children, enslaved in the world today. In Uganda, the Lord's Resistance Army raids villages and forces children to become brutal soldiers and concubines at young ages.  In Thailand and India, kids and women are forced into hard labor with little food and water and no way out.  In Europe, poor women are lured into sexual slavery with the false promise of good jobs in other countries.  In Peru, children are living on the street and often get kidnapped and forced into brothels.

What hit home the most is that this problem is not only overseas, it is in our own country too.  About 18,000 foreigners are trafficked into America each year to be forced laborers or work in brothels. Even American citizens, usually young and vulnerable, are kidnapped or lured into forced labor or sexual slavery with threats of violence and tight security measures to make sure they can't leave.  An estimated 200,000 American children are at high risk for trafficking into the sex industry each year.

In fact, Houston is one of the major human-trafficking hubs in the U.S. According to Houston Rescue and Restore, 25% of all human trafficking victims certified in the U.S. were in Texas and the majority of that was in Houston.

Go here to read an article on Houston's hidden problem.

Go here to read a shocking, eye-opening story about the "lost girls" of Houston.

If you're like me, you are reading this with your jaw dropped right now.  How could I live here my whole life and never hear about this?!

I thought slavery was abolished.  William Wilberforce and Martin Luther King Jr., and all the other abolitionists got rid of it, right?

There are more people enslaved in the world today than there were at the height of the civil rights movement.  The difference is that now it is in the black market and not widely seen.

I am shocked and appalled.

And I have to be honest here, a while back I heard on the news that police had busted a ring of brothels in Houston, and my first thought was "we have brothels in Houston?"  My second thought was "I'm glad those horrible women got caught."

It never entered my mind that they might actually be there against their will.

As soon as I began hearing about this, I ordered some books about it.  I would recommend reading:

Not For Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade and How We Can Fight It by David Batstone

Zealous Love: A Practical Guide to Social Justice by Mike and Danae Yankoski

We are attending the Free The Captives Houston Anti-Trafficking Conference on February 26.  And I am excited!  From the website, "You will learn about local and global human trafficking and discover practical ways to combat this injustice."

Also if you are like me, you might delay reading up on this stuff for a while.  I didn't want to learn about it because I knew it would change things up in my life and I didn't want that.  It seemed so overwhelming, so why even try?

But eventually, I couldn't ignore it anymore.  God was working in my heart until I finally said "ok, fine!  I'll read about it."  And I was right.  Now that I know about it, I can't sit by and ignore the problem.  But God prepared me so that I no longer want to ignore it! 

I may not start my own non-profit company dedicated to human trafficking victims, but I can help starting out small.  For me that means praying for those in bondage around the world, spending money responsibly on fair trade items (more about that later), and writing what I am learning here.

Awareness is the first step.

May God open my eyes to those hurting around me and convict my heart so that I cannot ignore them.  And may He give me the courage and strength to do something about it.

L-O-V-E

Today I have some heavy topics on my mind, but ...it's Valentines Day.  So in honor of the day, here are some things I love about my sweet hubby.  Isn't he handsome?

1.  He is patient.  When we were in college, he waited for 2 years for me to date him and he supported my decision to wait that long in order to honor my parents.

2.  He is hardworking.  His job can be stressful and involve long hours but he does the best job that he can even when he's discouraged.

3.  He takes his commitments seriously and is not quick to quit something that he has agreed to even if he doesn't like it.

4.  He is loving.  When I am cooking, he stops what he is doing every 30 minutes or so just to come over and give me a kiss.

5.  He supports me in my crazy endeavors.  Whether it is couponing, eating more naturally/organically, or buying fair-trade items, he gets behind it if only because it is important to me.

6.  He has a heart for evangelism and tries to witness to his friends, something that I am not good at.

7.  He is fun loving and spontaneous and compliments my planning/practical tendencies.

I love you honey, happy Valentines Day!

My Hero

Today I am going to tell you a story. 

There once was a monster (ROACH) who came to terrrorize a village (ME!).  I first saw him run across the floor while I was getting ready for work on Tuesday.  He was very big and scary.  I may have jumped and screamed.  But then I got a hold of myself and went to go get a weapon (SHOE) to kill him with.  But by the time I got back with it, he was gone. 

I was going to be late for work if I stopped to hunt him down (i.e., there was no way I was going to go dig through things to find him) so I quickly left the house and promptly told my husband that when he got home from work the first thing he needed to do was GO KILL THAT ROACH!

Sadly though, he couldn't find him either, so I went to bed that night praying that he had spontaneously combusted or something so that he couldn't crawl on me at night.

I have...issues...with roaches.  As soon as I see one I start thinking that there are others crawling all over me.  I can't sleep if I think one is loose.  I literally have nightmares about roaches dropping on my head or crawling on me. 

Is there roach paranoia counseling?  Cuz I think I need to go to it.

Anyway, Wednesday passed with no sight of him.  I thought we were home free.

But Thursday night, I was minding my own business buying books from amazon (I also have a book problem, I can't stop buying them) when i saw him out of the corner of my eye crawling up the closet door.

So of course I jumped up and shrieked for James to GO GET A SHOE, QUICK!

So he did, but by the time he got back, the roach had gone inside the closet.  My screeching might have tipped him off.

And here's where my hubby gets major bonus points:  he tore the whole closet apart looking for it without complaining while I got on the couch so the roach couldn't crawl on my feet and gave not-so-helpful pointers.

The closet looked like this:

All the games went on the table one by one after he had thoroughly checked the boxes for the roach.

Sure enough, he was in one of the game boxes.  He tried to make a run for it, but he just wasn't fast enough this time.  And he ended up like this:

Ahh sweet relief.  He's dead!

And my hubby is officially my superhero! 

THE END.

Heart Changes

If you have not read or watched Radical by David Platt, you need to.  We are almost done with watching the series online and I can say that it has changed the way I think.  And what I love about it is that it is not just some guy standing up there talking about his ideas.  This is a guy talking about scripture, and not just one little verse here or there.  These are passages that I have read many times before, but watching this series I have been forced to really think about what they are saying and not just gloss over them in my familiarity like I am apt to do.

In one of the Radical lessons that we watched, the pastor talked about the rich man who came to Jesus and asked what he must do to be saved.  Jesus said to sell everything he had and give it to the poor, and the rich man walked away sad because he had many possessions.  Then Jesus said "how hard it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."  After a reality check of how exceedingly wealthy we all are (most of the world lives on $2 a day), he challenged us to ask God what He wants us to give up for Him.

And lest anyone get defensive, he did explain that Jesus' command to the rich man was not a universal command to all Christians.  God loves rich people and we are not all called to give up everything we have, but wealth can be, and is oftentimes, a barrier to following Christ.

So I have being praying and asking God what He wants me to give up to follow Him.  When the Hendrick family prayed this, they were answered with the call to sell their house and move to Haiti, so I have been a little bit apprehensive it.  I do not want to move to Haiti! However, I have not heard anything that monumental...yet.  What I have been hearing is a gradual stirring in my heart through this whole process.

Here are three things that I believe God is telling me to give up.

1.  My "right" to live the way I want to.  In my mind I have mapped out our future according to the American Dream.  Save a little money, buy a cute little house, have some cute little babies, and live comfortably.  None of those things are necessarily bad, but I need to be willing to let God direct my paths instead of holding onto what I want so tightly.

2.  My ignorance.  Isn't it interesting that the words 'ignorance' and 'ignore' are so similar?  I know that there are a few things that I have been avoiding learning about because they are too much trouble.  I know that if I go learn about a problem then I will not be able to ignore it anymore and my life will become more inconvenient.

For example, I read Heather Hendrick's blog and a while back she did a series of posts about human trafficking and how they were changing their spending habits in order to stop supporting companies that exploit people.  I intentionally did not look into the matter because I did not want to deal with changing anything in my life.  I like Target and I like the Gap and I did not want to find out that I can't shop there anymore.

However, recently I have been feeling more and more of a conviction that I cannot live in blindness anymore and I need to open my eyes to these things.  I am praying that God would bring to my attention what I need to know and that my heart would be receptive and not resistant.

3.  Frivolous spending.  We have a budget, live within our means, tithe, and do not go into debt, so I had it in my mind that as long as we followed those principles, we could spend our money how we like.  But I have been convicted that I am selfishly considering myself first.  Not that I can never splurge again, but that I do not need to selfishly be spending all our "extra" money just because I can.

And once I stop ignoring the problem of inadvertently supporting human trafficking by buying anything regardless of how it got to me, I may have fewer options to choose from and less money to spend on them anyway.

What's On Your Playlist?

I love music, and I think it has a lot of influence.  Sometimes if I'm listening to a sad song, I actually start feeling sad.  Or a happy sounding song can make me feel lighthearted even while doing chores. A song with a good beat helps me exercise.  And when I'm feeling negative, nothing helps me refocus on what is good like worship music. 

So just for fun, I thought I'd periodically share a song from my playlist that I'm really enjoying.

Today's is My Own Little World by Matthew West.  The lyrics have become a prayer of mine.

Father break my heart for what breaks yours

Give me open hands and open doors

Put Your light in my eyes and let me see

That my own little world is not about me 

I Don't want to miss what matters

I wanna be reaching out

Show me the greater purpose

So I can start living right now

Outside my own little world

What's on your playlist?

Church Searching - Part 3

In college, I picked my church almost right away because that's where all my friends were going and I liked the service.  It actually turned out to be a really good experience for me, but not because I tried really hard to find the "perfect" church. After college, James and I picked a church after quite a bit of searching, mostly based on the service.  We liked the music and the preaching and the people were friendly. This time around, we are being much more picky. This is what we are looking for.

• A Sunday service that glorifies God and helps us to worship Him.  For us that means contemporary music that doesn't feel like a concert and theology that lines up with our beliefs.
• A church body that extends grace and love to one another even in difficult times and people that we feel we can really connect with.
• A healthy church government.
• Teaching that is Biblically sound and a pastor who is not afraid to talk about the hard things.  We feel that a lot of churches water down their messages to appeal to non-believers or to keep the attendance levels up.
• A church with a heart for service to those around them, not just members.  Most churches give money to missions and organizations that help those in need, but we want to see a bigger church involvement. 

Needless to say, we're a lot pickier now than we ever were before. And I am getting discouraged. We've been to what seems like every nondenominational and Baptist church in the area.  Most of them we haven't even liked enough to go back again based on the feel of their worship or their watered down teaching.  If it doesn't feel like a rock concert with lights and effects, it feels too traditional and unexpressive for our tastes.

Right before Christmas we attended a new church for the first time and it was one of our favorites right away.  We enjoyed the sermon series - it was Biblical and challenging.  We enjoyed the worship - it was contemporary and heartfelt (and loud), but didn't feel like a show. The people were very nice and I was told that they have a thriving young marrieds group.  I was excited for the first time in a long time about going to church.

But a couple of things started to bother me.  First, they didn't seem to have an outreach ministry to the community.  All the areas where you can serve are focused toward the church and its members.  Second, after Christmas they started a campaign to raise a lot of money for a new building.  They already have several buildings and they do not seem to be lacking space.  These two things combined make me wonder if this is really the place for us after all.

After all that we have been learning and the conviction in our hearts that we cannot ignore what Jesus said about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for the orphans and widows, and helping the sick - can we really attend a church that does not make those things a priority? Can we support a church that (as it seems to me) frivolously spends money to advance themselves when that money is so desperately needed elsewhere by people who are literally starving to death?

I don't know.

I know it is MY responsibility to personally follow Christ and not wait for a church to make it easier.  But I want to meet and fellowship with like-minded people so it seems if the church doesn't make it a priority, neither will its members.

I'm starting to think that maybe our expectations are too high.  Maybe we won't get everything we want out of one church.  Maybe something has to be sacrificed.  We'll see.

We're praying about it.

Is there something we are missing? Are we expecting too much? What constitutes a good church to you?  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this issue!

Snow day!...or not

Today is a stay-put day.  JSC was shut down for the day due to the forecasted snow and ice.  I know everybody laughs at the uproar that happens when snow is forecasted in Houston.  But it's not our fault that we don't know how to handle winter weather! Much to my disappointment though, it didn't snow.  But it definitely iced and roads are shut down today. So James and I are enjoying a laid back, stay in and be lazy day.  Which involves a lot of TV, a lot of snacking, a lot of reading, and a lot of lounging.  So far, I think I've watched about 5 episodes of Say Yes to the Dress.  I just love looking at wedding dresses.  And it's funny to see James' reactions to certain dresses and certain brides. Also, I may or may not have consumed almost a whole can full of pringles for lunch.  Healthy, huh?  I love unexpected days off work!  I'm not much for surprises, but that is one I welcome.

Amazing Love

Here's an interesting quote that I have been seeing lately.

You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. - Anne Lamott

I am always encouraged by how much God loves me despite my sin, my faithlessness, my fickleness. If God treats me as a beloved daughter, how can I be justified in treating others wrongly and harboring hate in my heart?

We sang a beautiful song at church this week and the words resonated with me. Especially the chorus. Enjoy!