My Hero

Today I am going to tell you a story. 

There once was a monster (ROACH) who came to terrrorize a village (ME!).  I first saw him run across the floor while I was getting ready for work on Tuesday.  He was very big and scary.  I may have jumped and screamed.  But then I got a hold of myself and went to go get a weapon (SHOE) to kill him with.  But by the time I got back with it, he was gone. 

I was going to be late for work if I stopped to hunt him down (i.e., there was no way I was going to go dig through things to find him) so I quickly left the house and promptly told my husband that when he got home from work the first thing he needed to do was GO KILL THAT ROACH!

Sadly though, he couldn't find him either, so I went to bed that night praying that he had spontaneously combusted or something so that he couldn't crawl on me at night.

I have...issues...with roaches.  As soon as I see one I start thinking that there are others crawling all over me.  I can't sleep if I think one is loose.  I literally have nightmares about roaches dropping on my head or crawling on me. 

Is there roach paranoia counseling?  Cuz I think I need to go to it.

Anyway, Wednesday passed with no sight of him.  I thought we were home free.

But Thursday night, I was minding my own business buying books from amazon (I also have a book problem, I can't stop buying them) when i saw him out of the corner of my eye crawling up the closet door.

So of course I jumped up and shrieked for James to GO GET A SHOE, QUICK!

So he did, but by the time he got back, the roach had gone inside the closet.  My screeching might have tipped him off.

And here's where my hubby gets major bonus points:  he tore the whole closet apart looking for it without complaining while I got on the couch so the roach couldn't crawl on my feet and gave not-so-helpful pointers.

The closet looked like this:

All the games went on the table one by one after he had thoroughly checked the boxes for the roach.

Sure enough, he was in one of the game boxes.  He tried to make a run for it, but he just wasn't fast enough this time.  And he ended up like this:

Ahh sweet relief.  He's dead!

And my hubby is officially my superhero! 

THE END.