Church Searching - Part 3

In college, I picked my church almost right away because that's where all my friends were going and I liked the service.  It actually turned out to be a really good experience for me, but not because I tried really hard to find the "perfect" church. After college, James and I picked a church after quite a bit of searching, mostly based on the service.  We liked the music and the preaching and the people were friendly. This time around, we are being much more picky. This is what we are looking for.

• A Sunday service that glorifies God and helps us to worship Him.  For us that means contemporary music that doesn't feel like a concert and theology that lines up with our beliefs.
• A church body that extends grace and love to one another even in difficult times and people that we feel we can really connect with.
• A healthy church government.
• Teaching that is Biblically sound and a pastor who is not afraid to talk about the hard things.  We feel that a lot of churches water down their messages to appeal to non-believers or to keep the attendance levels up.
• A church with a heart for service to those around them, not just members.  Most churches give money to missions and organizations that help those in need, but we want to see a bigger church involvement. 

Needless to say, we're a lot pickier now than we ever were before. And I am getting discouraged. We've been to what seems like every nondenominational and Baptist church in the area.  Most of them we haven't even liked enough to go back again based on the feel of their worship or their watered down teaching.  If it doesn't feel like a rock concert with lights and effects, it feels too traditional and unexpressive for our tastes.

Right before Christmas we attended a new church for the first time and it was one of our favorites right away.  We enjoyed the sermon series - it was Biblical and challenging.  We enjoyed the worship - it was contemporary and heartfelt (and loud), but didn't feel like a show. The people were very nice and I was told that they have a thriving young marrieds group.  I was excited for the first time in a long time about going to church.

But a couple of things started to bother me.  First, they didn't seem to have an outreach ministry to the community.  All the areas where you can serve are focused toward the church and its members.  Second, after Christmas they started a campaign to raise a lot of money for a new building.  They already have several buildings and they do not seem to be lacking space.  These two things combined make me wonder if this is really the place for us after all.

After all that we have been learning and the conviction in our hearts that we cannot ignore what Jesus said about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for the orphans and widows, and helping the sick - can we really attend a church that does not make those things a priority? Can we support a church that (as it seems to me) frivolously spends money to advance themselves when that money is so desperately needed elsewhere by people who are literally starving to death?

I don't know.

I know it is MY responsibility to personally follow Christ and not wait for a church to make it easier.  But I want to meet and fellowship with like-minded people so it seems if the church doesn't make it a priority, neither will its members.

I'm starting to think that maybe our expectations are too high.  Maybe we won't get everything we want out of one church.  Maybe something has to be sacrificed.  We'll see.

We're praying about it.

Is there something we are missing? Are we expecting too much? What constitutes a good church to you?  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this issue!