God is Faithful: A Church Update

If you have been reading my blog since the beginning (February), you know that we had a hard time with church in League City.  We attended a small community church for about a year, and then some bad things happened and the church split up and we left.  After that, we visited what seemed like every church in the city and didn't ever feel right in any of them.  It was very discouraging.  Hands and Feet kept us in fellowship with believers (we love you guys!), and that was a blessing to us, but we were disheartened about the whole church situation.

When James accepted the job here in Maryland, I had a talk with God.  Several, actually.  And every time it went something like this: "Lord, I know that you want us to go here.  I am excited, but also nervous because we know nobody and it is so far away from our families.  Please, please, PLEASE provide a church family for us!  I can't do this no church thing anymore."

I've been memorizing 1 John 5:14-15.  It says:

 "This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him."

The American church may not always get things right, but I know that it is in His will that believers fellowship together, encourage each other, and hold each other to the Word of God.  So I could pray that prayer with confidence that eventually it would be answered.  The only problem is that God's timetable is not the same as mine and I know from experience that often God's answer is "wait."

I don't know all the answers about why we went through what we did in Texas, but I do know that part of it is because without hardship we can't really appreciate His blessings, and in the hard times we have to rely on God only.  Well I am appreciating His blessings right now because it seems that He has seen fit to bless us with a church home!

The second Sunday after we moved in, we visited a small community church that meets in a school.  (Side note: what is it with us and start-up churches?  It's like we're moths and they are the light, we're drawn to them!)  We sat down and immediately someone came over to talk to us.  After the service, we were invited to go have lunch with several young married couples.  Everyone was so welcoming and friendly, it was such a blessing!  Do you know that in League City, out of the 5 billion churches we visited, NOT ONE ever asked us to have lunch with them? 

We liked this church so much that we haven't even visited anywhere else.  We enjoy the worship and the service, but what has made it stand out are the people.  There are a few couples that even live in our apartment complex.  We went to a game night and tonight we're having a movie night.  I am blown away by how these people have just embraced us and taken us in.  It is wonderful!  True Christian hospitality.  I am not going to say with certainty that this is "our church" because we've only been there 4 times, but we both don't want to go anywhere else.  And that is a great feeling!

Praise the Lord for His blessings, His faithfulness never fails! 

Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness,

Morning by morning new mercies I see.

All I have needed, Thy hand has provided.

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto thee!

Church Searching - Part 3

In college, I picked my church almost right away because that's where all my friends were going and I liked the service.  It actually turned out to be a really good experience for me, but not because I tried really hard to find the "perfect" church. After college, James and I picked a church after quite a bit of searching, mostly based on the service.  We liked the music and the preaching and the people were friendly. This time around, we are being much more picky. This is what we are looking for.

• A Sunday service that glorifies God and helps us to worship Him.  For us that means contemporary music that doesn't feel like a concert and theology that lines up with our beliefs.
• A church body that extends grace and love to one another even in difficult times and people that we feel we can really connect with.
• A healthy church government.
• Teaching that is Biblically sound and a pastor who is not afraid to talk about the hard things.  We feel that a lot of churches water down their messages to appeal to non-believers or to keep the attendance levels up.
• A church with a heart for service to those around them, not just members.  Most churches give money to missions and organizations that help those in need, but we want to see a bigger church involvement. 

Needless to say, we're a lot pickier now than we ever were before. And I am getting discouraged. We've been to what seems like every nondenominational and Baptist church in the area.  Most of them we haven't even liked enough to go back again based on the feel of their worship or their watered down teaching.  If it doesn't feel like a rock concert with lights and effects, it feels too traditional and unexpressive for our tastes.

Right before Christmas we attended a new church for the first time and it was one of our favorites right away.  We enjoyed the sermon series - it was Biblical and challenging.  We enjoyed the worship - it was contemporary and heartfelt (and loud), but didn't feel like a show. The people were very nice and I was told that they have a thriving young marrieds group.  I was excited for the first time in a long time about going to church.

But a couple of things started to bother me.  First, they didn't seem to have an outreach ministry to the community.  All the areas where you can serve are focused toward the church and its members.  Second, after Christmas they started a campaign to raise a lot of money for a new building.  They already have several buildings and they do not seem to be lacking space.  These two things combined make me wonder if this is really the place for us after all.

After all that we have been learning and the conviction in our hearts that we cannot ignore what Jesus said about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for the orphans and widows, and helping the sick - can we really attend a church that does not make those things a priority? Can we support a church that (as it seems to me) frivolously spends money to advance themselves when that money is so desperately needed elsewhere by people who are literally starving to death?

I don't know.

I know it is MY responsibility to personally follow Christ and not wait for a church to make it easier.  But I want to meet and fellowship with like-minded people so it seems if the church doesn't make it a priority, neither will its members.

I'm starting to think that maybe our expectations are too high.  Maybe we won't get everything we want out of one church.  Maybe something has to be sacrificed.  We'll see.

We're praying about it.

Is there something we are missing? Are we expecting too much? What constitutes a good church to you?  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this issue!

Church Searching - Part 2

Last time I talked about what we learned from our experiences at our old church and how we want to find a church with a healthy government and people who show love and grace to others even in hard times.


But there is more.


I think my favorite church experience was in college.  The worship was amazing, the people were really seeking the Lord, and the teaching was real.  The pastor knew that he had a congregation with way more college students than average, and he tried to teach on topics that were especially relevant to them.  But here's what I really appreciated; he didn't avoid topics just because they were difficult or uncomfortable.  He was not afraid to go to the Bible and teach its truth on controversial issues. He challenged us to look to the Bible as our guide instead of the culture that we live in.


Of course, no church is perfect and I felt that he sometimes tried to force his own personal convictions on issues and stepped into legalism at times. But he was real.  And I learned a lot and felt challenged to learn more about God while I was going there.


In our current church search, we have been to a lot of churches that seem watered down to us.  It's not that they don't teach the Bible, but they stay away from topics that are countercultural or that convict.


I think a lot of the reason is that seeker churches are so prevalent.  The trend seems to be that churches adjust how they operate in order to bring in more people that would never want to attend a traditional church. And if I put aside my cynical glasses for a moment and assume that they are doing it to reach more people for Christ (instead of just to gain more members and raise more money), it's not a bad thing. 


I am not against challenging the traditions of the church as long as you are using the Bible as your guide to what a church should look like and not culture.


But in an attempt to be culturally relevant and appeal to more people, churches are watering down the truth and avoiding topics that might scare people away.  And I am not OK with that.


Jesus repeatedly said things like


Care for the orphans and widows
Help the poor
Love your neighbor as yourself
Sell your possessions and follow Me


Jesus was not culturally relevant.  People couldn't figure out what on earth he meant.  His teachings made people angry and upset.  He healed the sick that nobody else would touch because they were outcasts.  He hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors. The culture of His day completely rejected Him and not many followed Him.  It was not easy to follow Jesus.


That is still true today. His path is not an easy one. It is not culturally accepted. And we can't pick and choose what to follow because it's just easier not to think about certain things. 

I know I have a long way to go in this.  I have studied the Bible my whole life but I am just now learning the importance of what Jesus taught. And it is going to take some sacrifices. And I am scared because nobody enjoys laying down their desires.


But I know that it is worth it.

Church searching - Part 1

**Note: this is just a pretty picture of a church, we are not and never have been affiliated with it.

As I mentioned in my last post, last year our church had a split and we felt we needed to leave. It was a small community church meeting in a school and we really loved it until some troubling information started coming out.  People started spreading rumors and there was lots of mudslinging and ugly e-mails going out to the entire church body.  Eventually about half the staff and elder board left the church as well as nearly every life group leader.

We really struggled with what to do. On one hand, we believe that a membership commitment to a church should be taken seriously and that people are much too quick to leave because of small, unimportant disagreements.  But on the other hand, we were realizing that behind the scenes, there were a lot of things going on that were disconcerting to us.  Ultimately, after much prayer and lots of advice from our spiritual elders, we decided that we needed to move on.  Whether or not the rumors were true, we saw a lot of unloving, self-centered behavior in the congregation/leadership and some unhealthy church government that we felt would only lead to more problems down the road.

All this caused us to really evaluate what it is we are searching for in a church.  I feel that we joined too hastily based on the Sunday service alone without looking past the surface.   Here are a few things that we have learned from this experience.

First, the Sunday service is not everything.  It is only really the outer layer of what church is.  Yes, you want to find a church that helps you worship God and teaches Biblically.  But aside from that, it is about community.  Are there people there that are like-minded and growing in their spiritual walks?  Are they loving and grace-filled, or critical and quick to judge? Finding these things out takes time and involvement.

Second, church government is important.  I had never really considered or cared about church government until we recognized a problem.  Our church was set up as the "Moses Model" which I had never heard of until the pastor explained it.  An article I read on the issue explains it this way:

"It’s a view of church governance that grants complete authority to a church’s pastor. ...The pastor is supposed to be like Moses. He goes into the tent to hear from God. He then comes out and proclaims what God told him. The elders say ‘Amen’ and the people follow.” 

We have several issues with this idea.  The new testament church was not instructed to be set up in that manner and Moses was never set forward as the example of how the church should be structured.  In fact, Paul refers to the elders and leaders of the church in plural, not one leader head over all the church.  And in practical terms, it gives the pastor power that nobody can challenge thus making him the sole head of the church.  We saw this happen and it was a big part of why our church unraveled.  To me, this is a dangerous place for a church to be in.  The article linked above explains the Moses Model, and the problems with it, more thoroughly.

So this time around, as we are searching for a new church home, we are looking for a church that shows Christ's love to others even in difficult times, and we are asking how the church government is structured so that we do not find ourselves in the same situation again.  And above all we are looking to God's guidance and direction through prayer and His word to lead us where He wants us to be.  Because that is the most important thing.