Lent

Ash Wednesday was a couple of weeks ago, and I had a hard time this year figuring out how to observe Lent.  I didn't grow up following the church calendar, so Lent is something that I choose to observe because I think it is a good way to ready my heart for Easter. In fasting from something in my life that is important to me, I am forced to have moments of discomfort, and in those moments I can stop and thank God for His ultimate sacrifice for my sins, and pray for those around the world who are in need.  Then when Easter comes, it is time to rejoice, because the sacrifice was paid, and Christ is risen!

This year I started reading a book called A Place At the Table by Chris Seay. This book encourages Christians to fast from actual food.  Not completely of course, but he suggests choosing the main foods of a third world country and only eating that for the 40 days of Lent.  His book also has 40 days of readings featuring people in poor areas of the world and the struggles they go through.  

I'm not following the book completely because I didn't think it was a good idea for me to eat only beans, rice, tortillas, etc., for 6 weeks.  Baby needs more diverse nutrients.  So instead I decided that I will make beans and rice once a week for dinner, and I will save any money that I normally would spend on myself for fun stuff and give it to a charity.  It's not much, but just a little bit helps me to remember what Christ did for me.

An unexpected Lent side effect

So, you all know how I gave up sweets for Lent, right?  I only had sweets on Sundays and abstained completely during the week (except for the day of our anniversary when we went out for dinner.)  I knew that my sweets habit was getting out of hand, but apparently I didn't realize just how much.   I'm going to tell you something embarrassing here:

Y'all, I lost 8 pounds!

Why is this embarrassing?  Well, I didn't do it to lose weight, I did it because I knew it would be a sacrifice for me and that is what Lent is all about.  I expected I'd maybe lose 2 pounds.  But 8!  I've never lost 8 pounds in my life.  Even when I was running three times a week AND dieting I only lost 4 pounds.  It's somewhat astonishing to me that JUST by cutting sweets, I could lose that much.  I did not alter any other eating habit or exercise any more, and I still had juice and the occasional soda, as well as foods like fruit and yogurt that have sugar in them.  That shows you how much dessert I ate!

I should probably be reflecting on all the spiritual growth that happened during this period of fasting; however, I think the biggest lesson I learned in all of it was that I need to cut back and make sweets a treat instead of an every day occurrence.  My clothes fit better, and I feel better, so I think this is one change I'm going to adopt permanently.  Probably not as strictly...maybe sweets on the weekends or something.  But no more ice cream after every dinner!  I would really like this lovely surprise to stick.

What about you, any unexpected (but welcomed!) side effects of your Lent season?

Thoughts on Lent

In my Lent reading for the day I read this lovely exerpt from Eileen Button called "Hollow Sacrifice."  I couldn't say it better myself.

"The annual season of Lent is puzzling to many.  Denying ourselves our favorite treats or habits - even for a short time - seems unnecessarily archaic in our I-want-it-now culture.  Lent is a plodding, definitive crescendo that leads up to the cacophonous noise of Good Friday and the gorgeous aria of Easter Sunday.  It's a season marked by deliberateness and intentionality.

But we often get in the way of our own best intentions.  When fasting from food or technology (or whatever else captures our hearts and threatens to take the place that only God can fill) we might be tempted to feel a sense of pride or arrogance about our sacrifice.  The very thing we relinquish sometimes clamors inside us as a "need" to be met.  Instead of focusing on Jesus Christ, our attention can dangerously be drawn to the very thing we've voluntarily surrendered.

Even so, the practice of Lent can be a valuable discipline.  It's difficult to comprehend what our continual sense of entitlement does to our bodies and souls.  Our culture worships at the feet of pleasure, deeply bowing to all its delicious offerings.  As we "shovel it in," we can become desensitized to our needs - the real hungers - in our lives.  Observing Lent can help us wrestle with the reasons behind our perpetual consumption.  When we decide to relinquish that thing that fails to truly satisfy, we come face-to-face with some tough questions.  Can we believe Jesus when he says, "People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God"?  How can we make room for the Savior in our buried and burdened lives? Can we grasp the reality of Good Friday and live within its irony?

Lent challenges us to consider the honest answers to these and other soul-searching questions.  It invites us to voluntarily jump of the hampster wheel of consumption and experiene the pinch of abstaining from continual, thoughtless indulgence.  It has the potential to give our frenetic material selves a much-needed break."

Spring meditations

It's Spring!  This is my favorite time of year.  This morning I stepped out of the house to a crisp, cool, sunny morning.  The air smells good and there are wildflowers in all the green spaces along the side of the road.  Then in the afternoons it warms up to mid 70s and 80s. It makes me want to take a sick day just so I can spend the day outside and soak up the beautiful weather before the heat and humidity swoop in all too soon. 

Spring also brings Easter.  This year I have been anticipating it more than usual. I have found that observing Lent really brings about an awareness in my heart of the beauty of the gospel by forcing me to meditate on what Christ did for me. That is really what it is all about.  I am convinced that God is not interested in posturing or observing something religious just to do it.  This is evident over and over in the Bible, from the Old Testament and the New.  He wants my heart, and actions will follow.

He wants my heart.

The closer I am to Jesus, the more I realize just how sinful I am.  The more I see His perfection, the more I can identify with Isaiah.

All of us have become like one who is unclean,
   and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
   and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

There is a song by Sidewalk Prophets that I heard on the radio this morning.  Here are the lyrics that really caught my attention, and the video is below.

I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway

See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

But You love me anyway
Oh, God… how you love me

God's love, the sacrifice that He made on that cross, doesn't mean much until I know the depth of my sin.  Once I realize that I am the reason He had to die, I am one of those who spit on Him and beat Him, I am Judas' kiss - then, I understand.  And His love, the beautiful grace of the gospel, astounds me.

Only when I recognize my wretchedness can I truly celebrate my salvation.

And I will definitely be celebrating on Easter morning.  I can't wait!

Ash Wednesday...a day late

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and I had a post planned, but work ended up being crazy and I stayed late, and then James whisked me off to dinner and I didn't have time to post.  So just pretend like it's still Wednesday, OK?

Growing up in a nondenominational church and then attending some Baptist churches in my adult years, I have never been very exposed to the church calendar.  In fact, I didn't even know about it until college when I read some books and met some people who were different than me. There are two seasons that more liturgical churches observe that I think are really neat, Advent and Lent. 
Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, a 46-day period leading up to Easter.  This is supposed to be a time where you repent of your sin and reflect on what Christ did through His death and resurrection.  A lot of people fast and give up something that they like during Lent.  The purpose is to prepare your heart for Easter.  Can you really fully experience the joy of salvation if you never feel the weight of your sin?  I think that is really neat and I'm kind of sad that my church tradition doesn't include this season.

So last year I decided to participate anyway, and gave up 30 minutes of sleep in the morning so that I could have a longer quiet time.  That may not sound like much, but I love my sleep!  So for me it was definitely a sacrifice.  But it was so worth it because I grew a lot in my faith during that time. 

This year, I couldn't figure out what to give up.  I had been mulling over a couple of options, when on Monday, it came to me. 

In light of everything I've been learning through Radical and the conviction I've been feeling about how much money we (I) spend on ourselves, I decided to give up shopping.  So I will not be buying any clothes, decorations for the house, books, or any other little things that I usually spend money on unnecessarily.  I will of course still shop for groceries and necessary items.

I think God gave the idea to me on Monday because he knew that if I had thought of it any sooner, I probably would have gone out that weekend and preemptively bought some clothes!  I've had my eye on a couple of things that will just have to wait for a while.

I think this will help me be disciplined by giving me a goal to work toward, and when I want to buy something and can't, maybe I will remember that Christ did not die on the cross so that I can live a life of luxury and selfishness.  Maybe I will remember to pray for those who are truly in need - for their situation, but also for their salvation so that they may experience the true joy that comes from a life in Christ.
Do you participate in Lent?

Monday Musings

• It's definitely Monday.  Yesterday I got my lunch ready and my workout clothes packed and put all the ingredients for tonight's dinner out so that I could just put it in the crockpot and go this morning, and I was still late to work.  Mondays are really hard for me to get going in the morning.

• James and I are upgrading our phones soon - we're looking for quick messaging phones with a QWERTY keyboard (not a smartphone) for AT&T.  Does anyone have any recommendations?

• I decided to try to lose some of the weight I've gained since college, and so I am now counting calories and trying to exercise.  I've discovered that the hardest part is getting the correct portion size down.  I feel like I'm always hungry!  I'm trying to eat protein and fiber-rich foods so that I stay full longer, but it's not working too well.  I wonder if it takes time for the stomach to get used to not overeating?

• We found a new Italian place this weekend.  It's a little mom and pop place but the pizza is pretty good and the best part is that you can sit at the bar and watch them cook it and listen to them speak Italian.  We'll definitely be going back. Don't tell my diet.

• I am trying to decide what to do for Lent.  None of the churches I've ever been in have observed Lent, but I like the idea of preparing myself for the celebration of Christ's resurrection.  Last year I gave up extra sleep in the morning so that I could read the Bible for 30-45 minutes every day instead of 10 or 15.  It definitely made an impact in my spiritual life.  I might do that again.

• I'm going to a dance cardio class tonight.  I went last week and it was fun, but definitely challenging.  I was proud of myself though because I was about 85% able to keep up with all the moves even though it was their last week doing that particular routine and I hadn't been there for any of it.  They're starting a new routine today so we'll see how that goes.  Dinner is in the crockpot so that I can just collapse on the couch when I get home.

• I am so sick of being in limbo!  We've been preparing for the inevitable job loss when the shuttle program ends now for almost two years because it keeps getting pushed back.  It is wonderful that we both still have jobs, but it feels like we can't make any plans. Now it looks like it is going to end for real this year, so James is looking for a job. It's kind of scary and kind of exciting at the same time. But I can't wait to be settled somewhere so that we can continue on with our lives.  For me, waiting on God's timing has always proved to be the hardest part of following God.

• I think nail polish makes my nails grow faster. 

And that's all I've got for today.  Now I'm just hoping the afternoon goes quickly.