Still Cookin'

Yep I'm still here, and still pregnant, 2 days overdue.  Unless there is a good medical reason, I do not plan to induce until 42 weeks, which is the longest they will let me go, and my midwife is fine with that.  I have a non-stress test next week if I am still pregnant then to make sure everything still looks fine.  I am really hoping to avoid induction; I want baby to come when he is ready and I want things to go as naturally as possible.

At this point, how I feel about still being pregnant changes quite frequently.  My midwife is out of town until Tuesday, so currently I'm hoping Xander waits until then.  It helps that I really don't feel too bad.  I am uncomfortable of course, and very ready to get my body back, but not miserable.  But I can't say I'm not looking forward to getting this over with and meeting my baby! So if I'm still pregnant on Tuesday, I'll be doing a lot of walking and eating spicy food. Until then, I'm just hanging out, keeping up with housework, reading books and spending quality time with James, trying to enjoy the last few days before our lives are changed forever!  

39 weeks

Dear Xander,

We have made it to 39 weeks!  This is a milestone because all your organs should be fully formed and ready to function in the outside world, you should have a nice, cute layer of fat to keep you warm, and I won't have to mentally readjust to a July birthday.  That would have been weird after expecting you to come in August for so long!  But now August has arrived.  The nursery is ready and waiting for you.  We have all the stuff we need for you and a lot of stuff we don't need!  Your clothes and blankets are washed and put away.  I have painted and decorated and cleaned what seems like every inch of the house (apparently the nesting gene in me manifests itself in an urge to paint everything in sight).  I've read lots of books and we've taken classes to prepare ourselves.  I stuffed the freezer and pantry with food and my hospital bag is packed.  Everything is done!  All we need now is you.  And we are SO excited to meet you, baby boy!  So you can feel free to come whenever you are ready.  Preferably sooner rather than later; you are quickly running out of room in there!  We are anxiously waiting for you.

Love, Mommy

P.S. - I'm not kidding, please come soon.  :-)

38 weeks

This week I've had some struggles.  Physically, I am fine.  But emotionally I've been a little overwhelmed.  I found out a week ago that one of the two midwifes I had been seeing is no longer working there, as in she was let go.  The other one is going to be on vacation for 5 days starting on my due date.  This means that should I go into labor during the time she is gone, the on-call doctor will be delivering my baby.  This is an abrupt departure from the guaranteed midwife delivery that I was expecting.  Because there were two midwives who could cover for each other during vacations, I had never even met any of the doctors in the practice, and the scheduled on-call doctor didn't have any openings for me to have an appointment to meet her.  This is not news you want to hear 3 weeks before your due date, so I was a little upset.  Fortunately they put me on a list for an appointment in case something opened up, and I was able to meet her yesterday.  She seems nice and she didn't have any objections to my birth plan, so that made me feel a little better.

We chose to go with a midwife over a doctor because I really want to try for a natural birth.  And I don't just mean no pain meds - I would be the first to take the meds if it didn't come with more risks than I am comfortable with.  I view birth as a normal process that your body knows how to handle and can accomplish without much medical help, except for emergencies of course.  I don't want to be induced, I don't want a routine IV, I don't want an episiotomy, and I really don't want a c-section.  I want to be able to walk around and labor naturally with as little intervention as possible.  Of course, I know that birth is unpredictable and never goes exactly according to plan, so I am going to try to be flexible, especially since I've never done this before. But that is my ideal birth, and midwives are generally more supportive of natural methods, and less likely to perform routine interventions.  I love my midwife and I trust her, so the possibility of having a strange doctor there instead is scary to me.  What if things aren't going exactly according to plan, and the doctor recommends a c-section?  If it were my midwife, I would know that if she were recommending a c-section, that really was the last option.  With a doctor I know nothing about, how could I be sure?

But God has been good to me.  In the midst of my little freak out, He has been so faithful to remind me that He is in control, through encouraging family and friends, through scripture and through worship songs that pop up on my iPod playlist.  I like to think that I can control my circumstances, and I try my hardest to do so, but in reality I can't control anything.  This is a little reminder that I need to surrender my "perfect birth plan" to God.  Maybe I don't trust a strange doctor, but I DO trust the Lord, and He has my best interest at heart.  He will never leave me or forsake me, He is the rock I can cling to when the storm hits.  This may sound a little silly, but there were two gorgeous rainbows last week on two separate days that seemed to say just to me, "See Kari?  I am still in control and I never break my promises.  I am with you."  It is still scary to me, and I am praying that this whole thing is moot and I won't go into labor while Brooke is away, but should it happen, I am trusting God.


Here is the obligatory belly shot.  My skin is stretched so tight that it actually hurts around my belly button like it is bruised.  If he doesn't come soon, I'm pretty sure I'll just pop like a balloon!  But I'm still carrying pretty high, and have had no signs of labor, so we shall see.

37 weeks

I can't believe I'm full term already!  It seems so surreal that my due date is in 3 short weeks.  We get to meet our little boy so soon!  He is an active one already; my belly is visibly moving and grooving as I type.  We are very excited (and a little scared) to enter this new stage of life.

Everyone talks about how miserable the last few weeks of pregnancy are, and they are right.  Miserable is kind of a strong word, but I am definitely ready to get my body back.  I don't have the stamina that I used to; everything takes longer to accomplish and tires me out more than it normally would, so I am not as productive as I would like to be.  My hips hurt, my back hurts, my belly hurts, and my feet hurt and are in a constant state of being slightly swollen.  Thank goodness for flip flops!  It's very hard to get comfortable so I'm constantly shifting positions, and tossing and turning in bed, despite the fact that it takes a huge effort to do so.  Rolling from one side to the other is no easy task when you have a watermelon attached to your abdomen and blocking your abs from working correctly!  

I also do not enjoy the extra attention that my belly attracts.  For some reason, people seem to think that the rules of politeness don't apply when talking to or about a pregnant woman, and suddenly all questions about your body are appropriate topics of conversation.  I'm not talking about friends and family of course, I don't mind getting more personal with them.  I'm talking about complete strangers who somehow think it's acceptable to ask how much weight I've gained.  Or the people who walk past me in the mall and remark to their friends that "that lady is very pregnant!"  Or the people who immediately say "I would hate to be you right now" because of the heat.  I have A/C and I'm from Texas, it's really not that bad.  And anyway, I'm having a baby, it's a happy thing, maybe you could focus on that.  I guess the good thing about all this is that in the future I will be much more careful what I say to pregnant women!

Mentally, I am almost ready to have this baby.  I have a few more things on my list to do before he comes, but every time I check something off the list I feel a little more prepared.  Our kitchen is 95% done (I'm waiting on some hardware to arrive), the nursery is done, I have almost everything I need for the baby, and my bag is mostly packed.  Next week if I can get some cleaning done, some freezer meals ready, and some baby clothes washed, I will feel pretty prepared.  It is very nice to be nearing the end of my gargantuan to-do list.  I know that I made it a lot worse by insisting on doing some major house projects, but it was stressing me out.  Xander, we are almost ready for you and can't wait to meet you!

Maternity Photos

Last week, we had the privilege of having some maternity pictures taken by a photographer friend here in MD.  We had a great time, and the pictures turned out wonderfully!  Thanks so much Layne, we love them!

The obligatory superhero shot :-)

I'm kicking myself for forgetting to take off the ever-present hair tie.  Oh well.

We love you Xander!

Baby cowboy boots are adorable.

33 weeks

My belly from my view.  I had to bend over to get my feet in the picture!

I'm at 33 weeks now, and pregnancy is starting to wear on me.  I've definitely hit the third trimester discomfort stage.

Things I DON'T like about being pregnant:

Feeling uncomfortably stuffed after a small meal and then hungry two hours later.
The extra effort it takes to get a full breath.
The way my tailbone hurts when I sit anywhere for longer than about 5 minutes.
Having to use the restroom every hour.
Feeling like I'm the size of a house.
Stretch marks.  Sadly I did not get my mom's good genes, and vitamin E oil and lotion doesn't seem to help much. I still slather it on every day though, just in case.
The backache that makes getting out of bed in the morning pretty painful (thankfully it usually goes away after a few minutes).
Fatigue and a general inability to get comfortable.


Things I DO like about being pregnant:

Nesting.  The motivation to get stuff done is nice and my house has gotten some fun upgrades.
I won't lie, I like the excuse to eat ice cream without feeling guilty. :-)
Feeling the baby's movements and kicks.  Sometimes they hurt but most of the time it's special bonding time.
Seeing James excited about our baby is very sweet.

I'm growing a tiny human in my body!  One who is half me and half the love of my life. Being part of such a miracle is so totally worth it.  That being said, I'm glad the end is in sight.  I want him to stay in there as long as he needs to, but I'm excited to meet our little guy!

32 weeks

Dear baby boy,

Today I am 32 weeks along.  By this point, you are probably close to 4 pounds and 16 inches long.  I can tell you have less space in there because I can feel you stretching.  Sometimes my belly looks lopsided because you have positioned yourself on one side and are pressed up against it.  Right now you seem to have your feet lodged in my ribs...not the most comfortable thing in the world.  You get the hiccups often.  I am starting to slow down; I can't be as active and I'm more tired by the end of the day than usual.  My back hurts every day and I keep getting annoying acid reflux, but it is all worth it.  

Only 2 months to go; you will be here so soon!  I am almost finished with the nursery and I love to go in there and think about you.  I wonder what you will look like (probably your daddy) and what your personality will be.  Sometimes I get a little panicked because our lives are about to change forever, and babies can be hard and a lot of work.  But then I remember that I am not preparing for just any baby, I am preparing for you, my sweet blessing.  And I remember how much I already love you, and I know that it will probably be hard, but it will all be worth it.

It is impossible to fully realize God's love for his children, but my understanding of His love for me has only increased since I found out about you.  If I love you so much, the child in my womb whom I haven't even met, how much more does God love us? My greatest prayer is that you will experience this love and that you will love Him back with all your heart.  

Love, Mommy

"Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -Maureen Hawkins

30 weeks

I'm 30 weeks today.  Only 10-ish more weeks until we get to meet our little one.  Time is just speeding by and I'm hoping that I can get my to-do list at least mostly finished before then.  But mostly I'm just so excited to meet my baby.  

And I'm so grateful.  Grateful for a loving and understanding husband.  Grateful for this little house we can call ours. And especially grateful for a chance to bring life into this world.  Grateful for the beautiful miracle growing in my womb. Grateful that he is (as far as we know) healthy and strong.  Grateful that I get the privilege of being his mama.

Thank you Lord for your blessings, great is thy faithfulness!

29 Weeks

As of last week, I am officially in the third trimester!  Time is really starting to speed by, I can't believe I have only 11 more weeks until my due date.  I still have a lot to do before baby makes his arrival, but we're getting there.  Next month I'm hoping to get some of the little details in the nursery started, like artwork and a mobile, etc.  We've got a few more weeks of our Bradley class left.  It's not my favorite way to spend an evening, but I think it's been good preparation for birth, especially for James.  I also have a breastfeeding class lined up at the hospital and an infant CPR class.  James and I both like to be fully prepared for things, we're not really the "wing-it" types, can you tell?!  Hah.

Baby is doing great!  At my last midwife visit, he was head down, so I'm hoping he stays that way.  In the last couple of weeks I have really started to feel him a lot more.  I guess there is less space in there now, so I can feel a lot of wiggles and rolls as well as kicks.  When he's really active, I can see my belly bumping and wiggling all on its own, it cracks me up. When I'm standing or walking he's pretty quiet, but as soon as I sit or lie down, off he goes.  

I'm still feeling pretty good.  I do feel big and heavy, and need more rest than usual, but that is to be expected.  My biggest complaint is still my back, which flares up when I've had a particularly active day (painting, gardening, etc.), and just generally starts aching faster than usual.  I did buy a pregnancy pillow that wraps around my whole body at night and that seems to help, as well as some exercises that relieve back pressure.  But really, I can't complain.  I haven't had any other unpleasant symptoms such as heartburn, constipation, or swelling, and I am very thankful!  

Overall, I am really enjoying this time.  It is such a miracle to bring life into the world and I am so glad to get to experience it!  We can't wait to meet our little boy.

25 weeks

Emma at 2 months old

Emma at 10 months old

Yesterday was my last day of work as a nanny.  Emma is going into daycare next week, and I am now free until August to rest and prepare for our little bundle of joy!  I have a lot of projects in mind for the house and nursery and I am excited to have time to do them, but I will miss my Emma girl!  She is a delight.  I gained lots of practical experience with this job and I am feeling much more prepared for taking care of an infant, though I know that every baby is different. I at least have the basics down!

I am now 25 weeks and feeling very big.  And I still have 15 weeks to get bigger, yikes! Things I never used to think twice about, like getting off the floor, or getting dressed, take effort now.  My biggest complaint is my back has been hurting me recently.  I bought a pregnancy pillow, a prenatal yoga DVD, and I plan to start walking a little every day now that the weather is nicer, so hopefully I can keep it from getting too much worse.  Not repeatedly lifting a very active, wiggly, 20 lb baby every day will probably help too.  I have so much respect for moms of multiple small children; it's hard and exhausting!  

Aside from the back pain, everything is going pretty swimmingly!  I really am very blessed, so far I've had no complications other than a low thyroid, which is easily fixed with medication.  Xander is growing just as he should be.  He likes to kick me at night especially, and right when I'm waking up in the morning.  Yesterday I think he had the hiccups!  And sometimes I think I can tell when he rolls around, it's a weird feeling!  He's kicking hard enough that James can feel it, at least when he cooperates.  I can't wait to meet him and see what he looks like!

I am having fun with the nursery.  We bought a dresser and James has been putting it together.  I've got a little collection of clothes and cloth diapers waiting to be washed and put away.  Next up is painting! I am excited.  I'll post pictures when it looks a little more put together, right now it's just a mess.  I can't believe in just three and a half short months, we will have a baby!  So exciting!

It's Spring!

Spring has finally arrived!  Just a few weeks ago it was snowing, so we are all very excited for the warmer weather!  No more coats and gloves.  Around here, forsythia, Bradford pear trees and cherry trees are everywhere, so we're seeing all kinds of beautiful blossoms.  Flowering trees are something that I didn't see much in Houston, so I soak it all in.  

Forsythia

Bradford pear

Some kind of cherry tree

This weekend I planted a veggie garden in pots on my patio!  I'm so excited; hopefully my first foray into edible gardening won't be a total bust.  I now have two tomato plants, two bell pepper plants, two strawberry plants, a zucchini, a cucumber, and a basil.  I also planted some Dahlia bulbs on a whim.  My patio looks nicer now.  It's fun having a backyard!

James and I also went up to Babies R Us to get some stuff for the baby.  We ordered a dresser and we bought the crib mattress. I was hoping to find a dresser I could refinish on Craigslist, or one from Ikea, but both of those options didn't work out.  The dresser that I liked online from Ikea turned out to look different and plastic-y in the store, and nothing was showing up on Craigslist for months due to our strict specifications.  The nursery is very small, so in order to maximize space, I need a dresser that is not too wide, but wide enough (and short enough) that I can use it as a changing table.  I just couldn't find anything so we splurged with some money we were given from James' grandma and just bought a dresser.  Then we went over to the mall and James made a build-a-bear for him!  It was really fun and I am super excited to be working on the nursery.

At 23 weeks, I am feeling pretty good, but definitely slowing down.  Things like gardening and running errands make me sore and tired now.  I have to sit down and rest more frequently and I'm having issues with my lower back, which was a trouble spot for me before being pregnant, and now it is flaring up again.  It's getting harder to get comfortable at night too, as well as doing things that require bending over. My belly gets in the way. I know it's all par for the course, and really it's not that bad in the scheme of things.  I just have to remember that I can't do as much now and not overwork myself. 

One fun thing that happened this week is that James felt Xander kick for the first time!  James poked my stomach where Xander had been kicking, and he kicked back!  It was really neat.  I'm so glad to have had a nice, productive weekend in the beautiful weather!

22 Weeks

This week we celebrated our 4th anniversary!  Well, we haven't actually celebrated it yet, we're planning to go to New York City for a long weekend in May.  I can't believe it's been 4 years since I walked down that aisle toward the love of my life.  A lot has happened in that time, and I'm so glad to share it with my best friend and husband!  I hope we never stop having adventures together.

In our biggest adventure yet, I am now 22 weeks.  Baby Xander is the size of an eggplant and weighs about a pound by now.  We got the results of our ultrasound back and everything looks great!  Praise the Lord!  His little organs all seem to be growing/working properly, and everything is right on track.  This is especially good to hear since I opted not to get the blood test that screens for chromosomal defects and Spina Bifida.  There is a high risk of false positives with that test and I didn't want to worry needlessly.

I've heard that in the next few weeks the baby is doubling his weight, and I am not surprised because I feel suddenly huge!  I can literally feel my abdomen stretching and pulling as it grows, and it's starting to get more difficult to get off the couch and out of bed.  It is also harder to get comfortable these days when I'm sitting or sleeping.  I've only gained 8 pounds so far though, which is great considering that we've had Easter candy and girl scout cookies in the house for the last month.  Fortunately I haven't had any swelling, and I'm hoping it stays that way.

I haven't had any cravings per se, where you wake up in the middle of the night wanting a certain food, but my favorite snack is strawberries dipped in Nutella with a glass of milk...so good! I actually ate a few spoonfuls out of the jar the other day when I ran out of strawberries, so maybe it does count as a craving. Also I've really been wanting iced coffee lately.  I need to figure out how to make some decaf at home.

Xander is kicking me a lot these days, and I love it!  Except for when he kicks my bladder, that isn't comfortable.  I can't wait till he's strong enough for James to feel.  Keep growing baby boy, we love you!

Boy oh Boy!

On Saturday at 20 weeks, I went in for my anatomy scan and we found out we are having a BOY!!  We are both so excited!  I really feel like God has been preparing me for a boy this whole time, because I've had a gut feeling since day one that he would be a he!  In fact, James and both sets of parents also thought it would be a boy, so we really weren't terribly surprised.  I had told a friend recently that if it was a girl, I would be very happy, but I'd have to adjust my thinking a lot.  I guess mother's (and father's) intuition is a real thing!  Anyway, it was so exciting to get to see our little man on the screen.  He was moving around a little and halfway through he had a huge yawn.  Its so exhausting to be a baby.  :-)  The nurse estimated him to weigh 13 ounces...almost a pound!

We are naming him Alexander James Shepherd, and we'll call him Xander.  We've had this name picked out since we got married, and it happens to be the ONLY boy name that we both love, so it was a pretty easy choice!  Alexander means "defender of the people" and I just love that.  I pray that he will grow up to be a man of God who stands up for the downtrodden and helps those who are in need. 

I am getting very excited about doing the nursery and getting baby stuff now that we know it's a boy.  We have had two Bradley classes so far, and it's been ok, although we did a really awkward and (in my opinion) dumb relaxation exercise at the last class.  I can't relax while lying on the floor with a group of people listening to a pregnant woman from the 80s wearing a hot pink and turquoise leotard talk about visualizing air flowing to your baby, and recognizing your inner goddess.  Hopefully it will get better!   

I can't believe we are halfway there!  I am feeling pretty good.  The weirdest part is that I can feel the weight of my uterus; it's a strange sensation.  The best part is that I can finally feel little kicks!  They are very low in my abdomen and feel like little jabs, or sort of like bubbles popping.  I just love it!  I can't wait until they are strong enough for James to feel. I was starting to get a little worried that I hadn't felt anything yet a few weeks ago, so it is very reassuring for me.  We can't wait to meet you little one!

18 Weeks

Me at 16 weeks

 

I am now 18 weeks, almost halfway through!  Baby Shepherd is the size of a baked potato this week; about 5.5 inches and 7 ounces.  I have started feeling actually pregnant now, and I caved and bought some maternity pants.  They are pretty awesomely comfortable compared to my normal jeans, which technically still fit, but dig into me all day.  They also smooth out my belly, making me look pregnant rather than just chubby, so that's a bonus.

I still haven't felt any movement that I can definitively say was baby, though I probably have felt flutters and not realized that's what it was.  On the doppler though the baby's heart is strong and he/she moves around, so I will probably feel it soon.

Baby has been giving me some unpleasant symptoms recently including shortness of breath and heart palpitations (all normal), but the worst is round ligament pain.  I had to call the nurse to see what it was because I thought I injured myself.  It feels like a pulled muscle on my left side and hurts every time I sit down, stand up, walk, or even breathe deeply.  It is very uncomfortable and makes me feel like I'm 80 years old hobbling around, but it's a very common pregnancy complaint and can happen throughout the second and third trimester...oh boy!  Apparently the ligaments holding my uterus in place don't like all the stretching that is required as baby grows.  But all in all, I'm doing great and enjoying the miracle of growing a life.

James and I are very excited to find out the gender coming up in a couple of weeks!  We bought a nice crib tonight off Craigslist for a good deal, so I am excited about that.  And we have signed up for a Bradley childbirth class that starts later this month.  There are so many things to do in the next 22 weeks so I'm glad to be checking a few off the list.  I can't wait for baby to get here, but I am thankful for the 9 months to prepare.

15 week update

I had my second midwife appointment last week.  It was fun because I got to hear the heartbeat! It was hovering around 160, which is a good number.  If you go by the old wives tale, that means I'm having a girl, but we'll see.  I don't put much stock in those...they are always 50/50! I still think I'm having a boy. We'll get to find out sometime in March.

I like my midwife so far.  She's natural birth/low intervention oriented, but still delivers in a hospital, which I think is the best of both worlds.  Hopefully it turns out that way.

Big news!



Our little blessing, so cute already!

So I haven't been very good at updating the blog this year, but I have a good excuse.  I'm pregnant!! I found out December 1st, but wanted to keep it a secret until 12 weeks, and since that was pretty much all I thought about for two months, the blog suffered.  But now I can talk about it!

We are so thrilled to welcome baby Shepherd (yes, just one in there!) this August! I'm 14 weeks now and past the ugly first trimester.  Actually, I didn't have it too bad, I was mostly just exhausted and nauseous if I didn't eat something every hour or so.  I had about a month of feeling pretty gross, but it definitely could have been worse, so I am thankful. I started to feel a little more normal around 11 weeks.

This week the baby is the size of a peach!  I am feeling good for the most part.  I am still tired a lot, and I seem to be always hungry.  I still fit in most of my clothes, although I had to retire my tightest pair of jeans today.  In about a month or so we get to find out if its a boy or a girl and I can't wait!  I have lots of ideas for the nursery.

Well it's time for me to go to bed, but I'll leave you with a couple of pictures.  And hopefully I'll have time/energy to post more often.

10 weeks

13 weeks

14 weeks, getting harder to hide the bump.