Happy Birthday Xander!

Xander, you are ONE! It's hard to believe we have had you in our lives for a whole year already, and what a wonderful year it has been.  You bring so much joy and love and laughter to our home.  

You are just shy of 20 lbs, and 29 inches long - in the 25% for both height and weight.  You are in 12 month clothing your little feet fit in a size 2 shoe.  You have 9 teeth! Your head circumference is only 44 cm, in the 5%.  You still easily fit in your infant car seat.  I love that you are on the small side - then you can be my little baby for longer!  Your hair is starting to come in thicker, but it is fine and short still.  Right now it seems your hair is light brown, and your eyes are kind of greenish gray.  I think you got Daddy's skin tone and I am glad of that! 

You are such a sweet, easygoing boy.  You happily come along with me wherever I take you.  You rarely throw fits or scream.  You play well by yourself (supervised of course), and you often quietly play in your crib for quite a while after you wake up before you start fussing for me to come get you.  I wonder if you will be introverted like me.

You are definitely a Mama's boy, but your face lights up when Daddy gets home from work.  You have finally started letting Daddy put you down for bed or naps with minimal fussing, but if I am home, you want me.  When you play, you periodically come over to see me and get some attention.  If I sit on the floor, you take that as an opportunity to climb all over me.  

You are not talking yet (other than one nonsensical "word" that you say over and over again) but you love to make noises, such a boy.  You babble a lot and blow raspberries and grunt and squeal.  You like to kick your feet and bang your sippy cup on your highchair tray. You love playing pat-a-cake and peek-a-boo, reading books, chasing after Casper, and making messes.  You definitely keep me on my toes!

You love to copy us and you pick things up very quickly!  You will wave bye bye, clap, stick your tongue out, and cluck your tongue.  When I say "how old is Xander?" you stick out one tiny finger and grin.  When you are being rough and I say "gentle hands" you start stroking me.  You are very good at helping us get your clothes on.  You are cruising like a pro, and can stand up by yourself for a few seconds, but no walking yet.  Crawling is faster!

You have decided to be a picky eater recently.  You don't like to try new foods, and we sometimes have to "trick" you into trying it by putting a cheerio on top or putting some on a spoon and feeding it to you.  When you don't want something you throw it off your tray (this happens almost every meal).  Your favorite foods are fruit (especially watermelon), applesauce, beef, peas, corn, olives, cheese, sweet potatoes, bread, cheerios and puffs, and rice cakes.  We have trouble getting you to eat most veggies, chicken, rice, and pasta.  You drink cow's milk and water, and you nurse 3 times a day.  You usually go to bed around 7:30-8, and wake up around 7.  You take two 1.5-2 hr naps.  You must have your wubbanub (pacifier) to sleep.

Xander, you are our pride and joy.  We love you more than you will ever realize until you grow up and have your own children.  We love your personality.  We love the way you laugh and grin, and the way you love to show off your new skills.  We love to see you explore and learn new things.  You are turning into such a sweet, fun little boy.  I know this year will bring lots of new developments; you will learn to walk, start to talk, and by the end of it you will be a full fledged toddler.  As much as I would like to keep you my little baby, I am so excited to see who you become this year.  I love you forever. 

Love, Mommy

Reflections

My itty bitty baby is turning ONE next week. *sniff*

And I can feel a transition happening.  My itty bitty baby is itty bitty no longer.  He is quickly morphing from baby to toddler right before my eyes.  

The first 6 months were tough.  We were so so tired.  In survival mode.  But now he is sleeping.  (I will never stop praising God for the gift of sleep.)  And crawling and cruising and babbling and all the other things that big babies/almost toddlers do.  We have a routine, and our days are pleasant again, usually.  And I have found that now that I am no longer using all my brainpower to just make it to the next day, I have a chance to think again.  And since my baby is turning one, I have started thinking about the impossibly huge and important and daunting task of, you know, actually raising a child.  

And it's not that I didn't know what I was getting into, it's just that now that it's actually upon us, I realize I have no idea what I'm doing!  This little person depends on us completely to raise him into a God-fearing, productive and kind member of society one day.  That's a lot of pressure.   

I look around me and I see a fallen and depraved world.  Every time I read the news I get more and more afraid of the world that my son has to grow up in.  Not just for his physical safety, but also for the intense societal pressure and the lies that he will have to face and combat.  

I have realized that being a mother, by necessity, has torn down the walls to my heart.  It is impossible to stop, nor would I want to.  My love for my child is fierce and unguarded, and nothing like I have ever felt before, and that is good, that is how it should be.  But it also means that my heart is wide open. I feel more deeply.  I can no longer close my eyes and my ears to the pain of this world, shut it out to avoid feeling it.   

Sometimes the fear of the unknown is stifling.  What if?  I pray every night that Xander will be safe from all harm and evil, that he will love the Lord and live for Him.  But that is no guarantee.  I pray that I will be a good mother, that I will be gentle and loving and forgiving, and yet know when correction is needed and how to best apply it.  But I know without a doubt that I am human and I will mess up, I will make lots of mistakes, I will hurt him unintentionally. 

Parenting is scary stuff, and I am only just beginning to find that out.  I can only do the best I can, and pray that God's grace will cover all my failures, resting in the knowledge that he loves Xander infinitely more than I ever could. Praise God for that.

11 months

Clapping

Xander is 11 months old!  He is such a joy.  He is always learning new things and he loves to imitate us.  He can now clap (a skill that I tried to teach him for two months and then James tried to teach him and he learned it in two days), wave, point at things, dance to music, cruise around furniture, cluck his tongue, and say "dog."  He probably says "dog" 50 times a day.  And every time I say "yaay!" he claps his hands and looks so proud of himself.  Sometimes when James or I make a funny noise or gesture, he will look at us really hard, and then try to do it himself. 

Trying to reach Casper under the gate and laughing hysterically the whole time

He loves to splash in the tub, watch the washing machine (the door is see through and right at his level), pull the toilet paper off the roll, look out the window, pull things off shelves, and play with Casper and Casper's water bowl.  We don't let him do all these things, but sometimes he gets to the water or toilet paper before I can stop him.  He's quick!  

He will eat almost everything we put in front of him - the boy loves to eat!  If James or I are eating and Xander is not, he will whine and fuss until we give him food.  The only food I know of that he doesn't like is tomatoes.  And he hasn't had them too many times so he may learn to like them yet.  But he scarfs down meat, olives, pickles, all kinds of fruit, veggies, rice cakes, bread, cheese, pretty much everything.  

Next month he will be 1!  It's hard to believe, the time has passed so quickly.

Cloth Diapers - the Dirty Details

So now that you have your cloth diapers, what do you do with them when they are dirty?

You can either use a trash can with a washable liner, or a wet bag, which is a waterproof, washable bag.  I have two wet bags that hang from the doorknob in Xander's room that I cycle through.  They hold 12-15 diapers, which is about two days worth for me.  I don't zip the bag up because I have heard that it is less stinky if the diapers are exposed to air, and believe it or not, I never can smell an odor unless I put my nose right up to the bag!

With wet diapers all you have to do is pull the insert out and put the whole thing in the bag.  The same applies for dirty diapers if your baby is exclusively breastfed (no solids, no formula) because their poo is water soluble, it just washes right out in the washer and won't clog your pipes or anything.  Once your baby has started solids or if your baby is formula fed, you have to dump their poo in the toilet before washing the diaper.  With Xander it most of the time just plops off, but if not, the diaper sprayer comes in very handy.  This is a little hose with a sprayer that attaches to your toilet that is used to get the poo off the diaper.  Once it is mostly cleaned off, I spray it with BacOut which is a natural enzyme cleaner, and put it in the wet bag until wash day.  The BacOut isn't necessary, but I think it helps keep the diaper from staining, plus it smells good, which is always a plus when dealing with dirty diapers. Once the wet bag is full, usually every third day, I dump the entire contents plus the bag itself into the washing machine to wash.

Here is where it gets tricky because your wash routine and detergent is going to differ depending on if you have hard or soft water, what kind of diapers you have, what cycles your washing machine allows, etc.  But generally people have the most luck with a short cold wash or rinse with no detergent to get the ick out, then a long hot wash with detergent for sanitizing, followed by an extra rinse to make sure there is no lingering detergent in your diapers.  Then most can go in the dryer if you prefer.  I like to hang dry the covers on a drying rack and put the inserts in the dryer.

A word on detergents: people will say you need to use a "cloth diaper safe" detergent, but I think that is bunk.  Detergents made for cloth diapers are typically not very strong, and are pretty expensive and hard to find (you have to order them usually) and many people have stink or ammonia issues when using them.  A lot of cloth diapering mamas are interested in natural cleaners, which makes sense because a big draw of cloth diapers is fewer chemicals for baby.  But I just am VERY skeptical that any natural cleaner can get your diapers clean enough.  We are talking about pee and poop here - you need a strong detergent to get the bacteria out.  I have seen lots of moms having trouble with their babies getting bad rashes in the diaper area, and unless it's an actual allergy to the detergent or the type of fabric the diaper is made out of, which can happen, I think it is often because the diapers aren't getting clean enough.  I am a huge Tide fan myself, and as far as standard detergents go, it is usually the most recommended.  I have soft water, so I use HE original powder because it washes out easier.  I used to use the BumGenius brand detergent and it left the diapers smelling strongly of ammonia.  As soon as I switched over to a mainstream detergent, that problem went away.  You can use any standard detergent as long as it doesn't have fabric softener in it; fabric softener coats the cloth, making it unable to absorb.

Another pet peeve of mine is when people will say to use LESS detergent if you are having issues.  The theory behind that advice is that you could have detergent build up on your diapers.  I don't know the science behind it so I suppose it could happen, but it just does not make logical sense to me to use less detergent on diapers because of stink problems.  If your baby is getting a rash or your diapers stink or smell like ammonia, it is probably because they aren't getting clean enough!  Use the recommended amount for the load size, or even a little more since diapers are heavily soiled. A tablespoon or less of detergent just isn't going to cut it.  I fill the scoop to line 2 which is the recommended amount for a medium load.

So anyway, if you are using a small amount of a cloth safe detergent and it is working for you, then by all means, keep on!  If it works don't change it.  But if you are having issues with your diapers, go mainstream! My diapers smell good and I can rest assured that they are getting clean.

Well I think I have rambled on about cloth diapers enough.  Thanks for indulging me!

Cloth Diapers - The Options

There are so many options when it comes to cloth diapers, and everybody seems to like a different combo for their babies.  Here are the main types.

First is a prefold/flat with a cover.  This is a square, flat piece of cloth that you have to fold, pin on, and then attach a waterproof cover over the top.  This is generally considered the most economical method, since flats are cheap and you can reuse the covers for a couple of diaper changes before they need to be washed.  It also has the biggest learning curve as you have to learn how to fold it and attach it to fit your baby.

Second is a fitted diaper.  This is a diaper that snaps on, no folding required, but is not waterproof, so needs a cover on top.  These can be very absorbent and good for nighttime use, but they are quite bulky.

Third is a pocket diaper.  This is a diaper cover that has a fleece or stay dry pocket sewn in.  An insert is tucked into the pocket, which holds it in place.  The insert absorbs the liquid, and the stay dry fabric goes against baby's skin and wicks the moisture away so they don't feel as wet.  These are very simple to use, but the downside is you have to stuff the inserts into the pockets.

Fourth is an All-In-One diaper.  This is exactly how it sounds: one whole diaper ready to go, no stuffing or folding required.  The absorbent part is sewn in.  It's the easiest diaper to use, but you can't adjust the absorbency very well, so if you have a heavy wetter, you can't just slip another insert in.  They also take longer to dry.

The last one is a hybrid diaper or All-In-Two which is kind of a cross between a cover and an All-In-One.  These usually have an insert that snaps or lays into the cover, and the cover can be reused for several diaper changes.

I have tried all of these diapers except the prefold or flat, and they all have pros and cons. I currently have pockets, all-in-ones, and hybrids in my stash. I like pockets because you can customize the absorbency by changing the type of insert or adding an extra insert.  All-In-Ones are super easy, no stuffing required.  They both go on just like a disposable diaper, so anybody can do it.  I also prefer the inside of the diaper to be made out of a stay-dry fabric like micro-fleece or suede cloth instead of cotton because it wicks the moisture away from baby's skin and helps them not to feel like they are sitting in wetness all the time.  Xander doesn't seem to mind either way, but I just don't like the idea of wet fabric constantly against his skin.

My three favorite brands are Sunbaby, BumGenius, and Charlie Banana.

 Sunbaby is cheap, has adorable prints, and fits Xander the best.  They aren't as good quality as the more expensive diapers, but for a cheapie brand, I like them a lot.  They have held up very well so far.  They have soft fleece on the inside too, which I like.

BumGenius is a very popular brand with gorgeous colors and lots of options.  These have been my go-to diapers for naps or outings because they rarely ever leak.  My only complaint is they are very wide in the crotch, so when Xander was little and had skinny legs, they were very bulky and didn't fit very well.  Now that he is bigger they fit great.

Charlie Banana is skinny in the crotch and very stretchy, so they fit him very well when he was smaller.  They are also super soft and trim underneath clothes.  Instead of snaps in the front to make the diaper bigger or smaller, they have adjustable elastics, which eliminates the bulk that usually comes from the diaper being snapped up to make it smaller. My complaint with them is that they are so skinny that it is hard to find an insert that fits in it other than the Charlie Banana brand, which is microfiber.  I much prefer bamboo inserts.

Speaking of inserts, there are many different kinds.  Diapers usually come standard with microfiber inserts.  Microfiber absorbs quickly and holds a lot of liquid.  However, when under pressure (like baby sitting in a car seat), it leaks, and has a tendency to hold stink.  On top of that, you cannot put microfiber directly against baby's skin because it is SO absorbent that it will dry out your baby's skin. Because of this, it is my least favorite kind of insert.

Hemp and bamboo both hold a LOT of liquid, but typically absorb it slower than microfiber, meaning if your baby pees a lot all at once, it might not be fast enough to keep up, resulting in leaks.  Cotton can hold a lot as well, but it doesn't wick the moisture away from the baby's skin, so the baby will feel wet when he has a wet diaper if the insert isn't underneath a layer of stay-dry fabric like fleece.  Some babies are sensitive to the wet feeling and some aren't.

My favorite is a bamboo/microfiber blend like the charcoal bamboo pictured above.  A layer of bamboo on the outside, and several layers of microfiber on the inside.  They are very absorbent and not prone to compression leaks.  Plus, if you are so inclined you can put them directly against the baby's skin.

There are SO many options out there, and every baby is different.  If your baby is small, you'll want a skinnier diaper like Charlie Banana.  If he is a heavy wetter, you'll want to add a second insert or go with bamboo.  If your baby is allergic to synthetic fabrics (yes, I've heard of that happening), you'll want something that is cotton or bamboo against baby's skin.  Some people like Velcro while others like snaps (snaps for me!). And different combos will probably work best for your baby at different times; as they grow and develop, different brands or inserts may stop working or work better than they used to.  That's why I recommend having several different brands or styles in your stash, so you can switch out as needed.  And don't buy two dozen of one kind of diaper before your baby is born because you may end up hating it!

It has taken a lot of trial and error to find what works the best for us.  I used to be overwhelmed and frustrated as I tried to figure out what I liked, but now that I have, we hardly ever have leaks or problems, and I love cloth diapering.  Snap on a stay-dry pocket or all in one with a bamboo blend insert, and we're good to go!

My last post about diapers will be on washing, storing, and other details, and then I'm done, I promise!  :-)

10 months old

Xander is 10 months old!  

He is busy busy, always on the go.  He is crawling like a champ, pulling up, and cruising, and he is loving his new found mobility.  He gets into everything, so I have to keep a close eye on him.  We have baby-proofed the living room and stairs, and the kitchen is next.  If he finds a cord, he makes a beeline for it.  He is also veeeery interested in the dog's water and food dishes, so I have to put those up on the counter when we are in the kitchen.

 One of his favorite things to do is watch Casper.  I think "dog" might be his first word, aside from mamama and dadada.  Every time he sees Casper he gets a huge grin on his face, and says "gog" or "og."  It's a little different each time, but I think he is trying to say "dog." He can be really upset, crying, and nothing we can do will calm him down, but he sees Casper and suddenly it's all smiles and giggles.  He LOVES his doggie.  The other thing he really likes to do is look out the window.  The ledge is right at his height and he will stand there looking outside for a long time.

He is still taking two naps a day, usually 9:30 to 11ish, and 2 to 3:30ish.  Then he goes to bed around 7:30.  Lately (the last two weeks or so) he has been sleeping 11-12 hours straight through! Getting a full night's sleep is so amazing!  There was a time not long ago, when I seriously thought it would be years before I felt rested in the morning, so it is a blessing I do not take for granted.  He is still very picky about who puts him to bed though (i.e., ONLY MAMA!!), which makes going out at night hard sometimes, especially when he's teething.  But did I mention HE IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT?! So I am not too upset about it. :-)

 He is in the throwing things stage.  He throws his toys when he is in his carseat.  He throws his sippy cup, and sometimes his food.  And he throws his paci when I'm trying to put him to bed or changing his diaper.  Speaking of diapers, it is like a wrestling match trying to get one on him.  He has perfected the alligator roll.

He chatters in his little high pitched baby voice all the time, and it is adorable.  Sometimes I think he is trying to sing.  And recently he has started "dancing" to music (more like bobbing up and down.)  His top left tooth came in, so now he has three teeth!  And his top right one is going to be in soon, it is right under the gum.

We have pretty much given up on purees. I got tired of cooking and pureeing everything and the pre-made pouches are expensive.  He does really great with feeding himself table food!  I am pretty impressed.  We've given him all kinds of veggies, fruits, salmon, ground beef, chicken, cheese, rice, noodles, eggs, bread, etc.  He eats almost everything.  His favorites are meat, sweet potatoes, watermelon, bananas, and peas.  He doesn't seem to care for eggs, tortillas, or noodles so far, but I think it's a texture thing.  He is really good about not putting too much in his mouth most of the time, though he loves to bite off huge chunks of banana.  But I have been impressed with how little I have to worry about him choking.  Don't worry, I still watch him very closely!  I still give him the pureed packets of food when we are out and about, and he loves them.  And for breakfast he usually gets pureed peaches or pears mixed with oatmeal cereal, to help keep his system from getting clogged up, if you know what I mean.  When he is done eating, he starts picking up each piece of food one by one, and dropping them on the floor.  That's when I know I need to get him out of the highchair!  He nurses first thing in the morning, after each nap, and before he goes to bed.

I'm not really sure how 10 months have passed already.  Really, I think I am in denial that his birthday is coming up.  His BIRTHDAY!  Nope, not happening. He will stay my sweet, cuddly (sometimes), big eyed, mischievous, chubby, dimple-fingered, adorable happy baby forever and ever, and that is all there is to it!

Cloth Diapers - Why do it?

I really love cloth diapers.  I started doing it for various reasons, but did not expect to love it as much as I do.  It's become a bit of a hobby really; I love trying out new brands and adding cute colors and prints to my collection.  So since I love it so much I thought I'd write a series of posts about it!  (Yes, a series, because I tried to fit it all in one post and it was ridiculously long.  I am apparently just that enthusiastic about cloth diapers!)

Feel free to skip these posts if you have no interest whatsoever, because that is totally OK!  Probably makes you less crazy than I am haha.

My reasons to cloth diaper:

1.  Less chemicals on baby's skin!  Disposable diapers are made with toxic and potentially dangerous chemicals that allow them to absorb a ton of liquid and still be flat.  Usually the harmful stuff stays inside the diaper and doesn't touch the baby, but there have been cases of them malfunctioning.

2.  Good for the environment.  A disposable diaper takes approximately 500 years to decompose, and deposits human waste in landfills, where it can run off into water sources.  A cloth diaper can be used over and over again and poo gets dumped into the toilet where it belongs.  As a Christian I believe in doing what I can to take care of this wonderful earth that God made.

3.  More economical!  This was my driving factor in cloth diapering.  It costs approximately $1500-$2000 to diaper one child through potty training.  The cost of cloth varies depending on what styles you choose and how many diapers you buy, but an average estimate is $500 to fully cloth diaper one child, and if you take care of them they can easily last through more than one child.  That makes cloth diapering very very much cheaper than disposables!!  On top of that, we pay a flat amount for our water bill (unless we go over the allotted amount) and it has not increased at all since we started cloth diapering!

4.  Cloth diapers are stinkin' adorable, and so soft!  If I had to pick between wearing paper underwear or cloth underwear 24/7, I'd pick the cloth for sure. Much gentler on a soft baby bottom.

Now you know why, but how do you get started?  Part 2 coming soon.