A little bit crunchy

I like to think of myself as a somewhat natural-minded/crunchy person.  I will credit my mom here for instituting a healthy lifestyle in my home growing up.

I buy organic produce and dairy products whenever I can.  I try to stay away from lots of processed foods and artificial ingredients, and I attempt (mostly unsuccessfully) to grow some of my own produce.  I breastfeed and baby wear and cloth diaper.  I see a chiropractor and a midwife and had a natural, drug-free birth. I have recently started recycling, and it makes me unnaturally happy every time I drop an item in the recycling bin instead of the trash.  I am hesitant to take medications and avoid it if I can.  I was homeschooled and am hoping to do the same for our kids.

All these things are fine lifestyle choices and it is important to be healthy and treat your body with respect.  But sometimes I am tempted to be prideful that I do these things, and that is not OK.  None of these preferences make me a better person than someone who loves fast food and epidurals.  These are not matters of right and wrong and I have no right to judge someone for having different preferences than me.  In fact, when you really look at it, what I do is only the tip of the iceberg in the natural world.  I still buy cereal and chips and granola bars and soda; my husband asks that I get these things, and lets be honest, I enjoy them sometimes too.  The only jar of coconut oil that I have ever purchased sits unopened because I don't know what to do with it.  I use disposable diapers at night and when we go out, and I buy pre-made baby food packets in addition to the food I make for him myself.  I had a hospital birth.  I have two medicine drawers in my kitchen full of Motrin, Benadryl, and cough drops, and a cabinet full of cleaning products.  I do not own any essential oils.

This has come to my attention recently because I've been hearing far more crunchy people than me talk about choices that they make for their home.  Kefir?  Gluten-free?  Compost? Insert a myriad of crunchy things I do not do here.  And that is just fine.  My worth is in Christ, and not in earthly matters that will fade away.  And I am thankful for that.

8 Months Old

I recently got an email from Baby Center that said "your 8 month old infant will soon be a toddler."  Waaah I am not ready for that!!  Currently he is not toddling or even crawling, so I will revel in his sweet chunky baby thighs a little longer and not think about how he will be one year old in just 4 short months.  He is very wiggly though as you can see from this succession of pictures!

Speaking of crawling, he is really trying.  He spends a ton of time getting up on his hands and knees and then wiggling/flopping/flailing around to try to get somewhere.  He hasn't quite gotten the hang of simply moving his knees yet.  I am not complaining because once he is mobile, he is harder to keep track of.  But he is getting very close.  Also he can now hang on to something if we stand him up next to it. 

Our little chunky monkey loves to eat!  He has breakfast, lunch, and dinner now, and eats 4-6 ounces at each meal.  He loves sweet potatoes, bananas, pears, and avocado, and he does not like carrots.  He nurses 4-5 times a day too, (including once in the middle of the night). He is so distracted while nursing though.  If there is something interesting to look at he pops on and off and doesn't eat much, and if we are not at home, forget about it.  Too much to see to bother with nursing unless he is really thirsty or sleepy.  But he still wants to nurse, and lets me know by pulling down my shirt and lunging at me with an open mouth.  It's pretty hilarious; fortunately he has never done it in public!  He weighs 17.5 pounds and is wearing mostly 9 month clothes.  

Other moms have told me that right when your child starts to sleep well, they start teething and sleeping gets rough again.  That is exactly what has happened for us.  Xander has one little tooth on the bottom and man is it sharp!  And I think he is cutting another one because he is not sleeping well right now.  He's been waking up twice to nurse and crying in his sleep a lot.  Poor little guy, I feel bad for him.  I give him Hyland's teething tablets and they seem to help.  He doesn't have much trouble during the day, it just seems to pop up at night.  However, he is napping pretty well with two chunky naps a day (a total of 3 hours usually), and he goes down for the night pretty easily most of the time, as long as I am the one putting him to bed.  He does not like James to put him to bed, and doesn't take a bottle very well.  

I am starting to see glimpses of his personality; he's a pretty chill baby.  I think he is going to be an introvert like me, because he will roll around and "play" in his crib for a long time after he wakes up from his nap, sometimes 30-45 minutes!  He enjoys his alone time.  I haven't noticed any stranger anxiety yet, and he does really well in the nursery at church.  But he has just recently started getting scared of loud noises like the vacuum cleaner, or the bathtub turning on.  He seems to be very happy and expressive at home, but when we are out and about, he gets quiet and observes everything.  So much so that he will not fall asleep even if he has been awake for 4 or 5 hours.  He just gets very glazy-eyed and calm at first, and then if we push him too far past his sleepy point, he is clearly miserable and cries.  This makes going out for day trips difficult because he doesn't easily fall asleep in the stroller or carseat, or even the carrier.    

We took him to the park to swing for the first time this month!  I also took him into DC to see the cherry blossoms with a friend and her kids.  It was definitely an adventure.  We love our little man!

7 Months old

My baby is 7 months old today!  I am definitely feeling bittersweet about this one; he is starting to act like such a big boy and before I know it we will be celebrating his birthday and he will be a toddler and I already miss his scrunchy, snuggly newborn cuddles.  But at the same time it is so fun to see him grow and learn and laugh and play. I am not a super emotional person, but being a mama brings out all kinds of feelings.

This month we started solid foods, and Xander loves it.  If he sees me eating he starts whining for food, and he just scarfs it down.  So far he's had sweet potatoes, butternut squash, peas, green beans, bananas, applesauce, pears and oatmeal cereal.  He eats it all, but his favorites are bananas and pears.  Out of the vegetables I think he likes sweet potatoes the best, which is funny because that was the first food we gave him and he was not a fan at the beginning.  He is very vocal when he eats and says "Mmmmm" a lot - I'm not sure if he is doing it to copy me or because he just really likes the food, but it is cute.  He drinks water from a sippy cup, but half of it ends up on his bib, and I have to hold it for him.  He is still nursing really well too.  He weighs 17 pounds.

Xander started putting himself to sleep!  I always nurse him at bedtime, but all of a sudden he stopped falling asleep while nursing.  He would finish eating and then look around, reach for things, try to play with me, and basically do anything but fall asleep.  At first I was continuing to try to rock him, but it would take forever (like an hour).  So one day when he was fussing and arching his back to get out of my arms, I just put him in his crib and walked out, fully expecting him to cry.  But he just rolled around to get comfortable and fell asleep!  I thought it was a fluke, so I tried again the next night and sure enough, he did it again. He's been putting himself to sleep every night for a month now and I am still flabbergasted every time!  I just never thought he would do that on his own.  Just recently I've started putting him down awake for naps too and he does really well.  It takes him longer to fall asleep; he plays in his crib for 15 or so minutes before he settles down and goes to sleep, but he rarely cries.  I am just so proud of him!  I do miss the sweetness of my baby falling asleep in my arms, but I recognize that the ability to put yourself to sleep is a skill you will need for your whole life and I am so so grateful that we didn't have to fight to learn that skill. Also, the boy is heavy, and walking around in circles to get him to fall asleep was killing my arms!

As far as nighttime goes, usually Xander wakes up to nurse once, but more and more frequently he is sleeping through the night.  And by that I mean maybe once a week.  He usually wakes up for the day between 6:30 and 7:30 and goes to bed between 7 and 8.  I always put him down on his back but he almost always ends up on his tummy.  About half the time he takes three naps and half the time he takes two.  He's not very consistent with how long he sleeps for each nap; sometimes 45 minutes, sometimes 3 hours.  More often than not he takes at least one nap lasting 1.5 hours or more, and usually he naps a total of 2.5 - 3 hours a day.  When he wakes up from his naps, he will happily play for up to 30 minutes before he fusses for me to come get him!  And then when I do, he gives me a huge smile.

Xander is becoming a champion roller.  He can't crawl yet, but he will roll to try to get where he wants to go.  He gets places but usually not the places he was aiming for (he gets himself stuck)!  He's starting to bunch his legs up underneath him when he's on his tummy and then kick, which propels him about half an inch, but he tries so hard.  Soon he will be crawling.  

I have started sitting him in the grocery cart instead of bringing in his carseat, and he loves to look around.  Everywhere I go people stop me to say how cute he is or to try to get him to smile at them.  Since he loves attention, he usually obliges.  Just in the past couple of days, he has started to repeat syllables!  The first one I heard was "mememem."  So close to "mama!"  

He puts EVERYTHING in his mouth, and wants to play with anything mommy and daddy are playing with, especially cell phones, remotes, and anything we are eating. He also loves to eat his socks and they are often sopping wet or one is missing because he took it off somewhere. He still loves to play on his play mat, and his favorite game is when we dangle a piece of cloth over his face. He also loves having his diaper off and starts happily and vigorously kicking his feet as soon as I go to change it.  (It makes changing his diaper quite the challenge!) He hates putting clothes on, but thinks it's hilarious when we take them off. He is very happy when daddy gets home, even if he was tired and cranky before.  He is such a joy and we love him to pieces!

6 months!

My baby is 6 months old!  Time has never passed so quickly...I blinked and here we are!

Weight: 16 lbs 4 oz - 25th percentile 

Height: 26 inches - 50th percentile

It took him long enough, but Xander is finally getting some chunk.  He jumped up from the 10th percentile to the 25th percentile in weight.  His newest accomplishment is sitting up without help, he is pretty good!  He will knock himself over eventually but he doesn't slump forward or sideways anymore, so it's just a balance thing.  He is a very happy little boy and smiles and laughs and squeals all the time.  He has this ear piercing shriek that he does just for fun, which is cute, and when he's crying, which is not so cute.  

I caught him with both his Wubbanubs in his mouth.  He loves them!

He is very easily distracted these days.  This can be good because when he's fussy, I can usually just distract him with a toy or make a funny noise and cheer him up.  Also he usually doesn't cry in the car anymore, thanks to his interest in toys to keep him occupied, it's a huge relief.  But he also gets VERY distracted while nursing, which can be frustrating.  If the TV is on or Daddy is talking or Casper barks, he whips his head around to see and won't keep eating unless he is really hungry.  We are starting solids soon, so that should be a fun adventure!

Sleeping has gotten SO much better!  Most nights he only wakes up once to nurse, and he has even slept through the night once or twice!  And by that I mean, he slept from 8 to 5:15.  It was glorious - 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep for me.  I did go in and dream feed him at 10 before I went to bed, but I don't count that because he didn't wake up for it. We stopped using Merlin's Magic Sleepsuit, because he would wiggle halfway out of it in the middle of the night and then wake up, but it really helped to get him out of the swaddle.  Now I just put him in a wearable blanket and he is happy.  I think he likes the freedom to move into any position he wants; he moves all over the crib throughout the night, and he especially likes to sleep on his side, which he couldn't do in both the swaddle and the sleep suit.  He takes after his Mama in that regard (the side sleeping, not the wiggling).    

A typical day's schedule looks like this:

1st nap - 9 or 10 a.m.

2nd nap - 12 or 1 p.m.

3rd nap - 4 p.m. (Sometimes he skips this nap, it depends on how long the other two naps lasted.)

Bedtime - 7 or 8 p.m., depending on when he woke up from his last nap.  Sometimes he naps for 45 minutes to an hour, and sometimes he goes for 2 to 2.5 hours, so it's really hard to have him going to bed at exactly the same time every night.  I have found that he needs to be awake for 2.5 hours or more before bedtime.  If it's less than that he isn't sleepy enough and bedtime is difficult.  Half the time he wakes up about an hour after he goes to bed, but usually he finds his pacifier and puts himself back to sleep in a couple minutes.  Sometimes I have to go up there and give it to him.  If he goes to bed closer to 7, I usually do a dream feed around 10 before I go to bed.  If it's closer to 8, I'll skip it.  If he wakes up between 10 and 5 and doesn't go back to sleep in a few minutes, I go in and feed him and change his diaper.  If he wakes up between 5 and 7 (pretty much every morning), I nurse him in bed with me for an extra hour of sleep and snuggles.  We're up for the day usually somewhere around 7 or 8. 

When I look back to a couple months ago when he was waking up every 1-2 hours all night and couldn't put himself back to sleep, I am just amazed that he is sleeping so well now.  I used to dread night time and bedtime, and now it is usually not a struggle. Everyone tells me just when they learn to sleep through the night they start teething and sleep gets all messed up again, so I am not expecting this to last, but I am definitely enjoying it while it does.

I just love my little man so much!  I wish I could freeze time because it is going by way too fast.  We are very blessed.

My dear sweet little boy,

Tomorrow you are 6 months old. It seems like yesterday that they placed you, red and wrinkly, on my chest, and yet here you are, smiley and sitting up and oh so big. Its funny how the hours can seem so long and yet the days just fly by.

Tonight I sat in the dark, quiet nursery, nursing you, your chubby little hand holding mine, and I didn't want to let you go. I will miss this someday when you are big, these quiet, snuggly moments, just you and me. I love you with my whole heart baby boy. And I always will.

Love, mommy

What they don't tell you

When you announce that you are pregnant, everyone has something to say.  Usually right after the congratulations come warnings from well-meaning parents. 

"I puked the whole 9 months."

"Get the epidural.  Believe me you are going to want it."

"Get ready for your whole life to change."

"Sleep now because you'll never sleep again!"

"Get ready to start hemorrhaging money.  Babies are expensive."

"Free time?  I don't remember what that is anymore."

"Are you sure you're ready for this?  Kids are a lot of work."

All this is true, if not somewhat terrifying for the soon-to-be new parent.

But what they don't tell you is how amazing it is to nurture and grow a human being inside your own body.  To carry it and feel its little life expanding.  The little kicks and movements that are only known to you.  How  much beauty there is even amid the pain as you give birth to new life.  How a part of you is unlocked the instant that baby arrives and you enter into motherhood, a state that will indeed change you forever, for the better.  

They don't tell you how much your heart will expand with so much love for this tiny person that you don't know how it doesn't burst open.  They don't tell you about all the laughter and joy, and how wonderful it is to watch your baby grow and learn and become their own person.  How much fun it is to see the world through the eyes of a child.  How they become your whole world and you can't and would never want to imagine life without them.

Yes, parenting is hard, there are many challenges.  You will be stretched beyond what you thought yourself capable of.  You will have to give of yourself for the sake of your child, often when you don't want to or feel like you just can't give any more. But they fail to mention that all the difficult things, the hard things about parenting, every single thing is so worth it and you would do it ten times over for the privilege of being their mother.  

5 months old

Hard to believe my baby is 5 months old!

Weight: 14 pounds

Height: 26 inches

Every month Xander learns more things.  Yesterday he rolled over from back to front for the first time!  Unfortunately I missed it, he waited until I walked out of the room.  He is also getting closer to sitting up, he can stay upright for a few wobbly seconds with the boppy around him.  He has no teeth yet but is drooling and gnawing on things like crazy.  He has suddenly noticed the dog; when Casper walks over to him, he gets a giant grin on his face and sometimes laughs, it's very cute.  He loves to reach for things and grab things, and promptly puts them in his mouth.  It is getting very difficult to change his diaper because he grabs my arm and kicks and wiggles. He likes to play peekaboo and airplane with daddy. He is so vocal now!  He "talks" and makes funny noises all the time.  He laughs and squeals and happily babbles.  Instead of crying when he wants something, he has started whining and complaining.  He gets frustrated at his play mat now because the toys aren't hanging low enough for him to put them in his mouth, so after a few minutes of trying, he starts "yelling" at them. It's very cute.  Also, his eyes are starting to change colors.  They started out that steely gray color that most newborns have, and now they look kind of hazel/green to me.  I am very curious to know if he will end up with daddy's brown eyes or if they will stay hazel.  I'm rooting for hazel since it's a cross between my blue/green eyes and James' brown.

This past month he has gotten much easier to take places.  He likes the noise and interesting sights of public places and he is content to sit in my lap and look around; he'll even fall asleep without fussing if he's tired.  He is even getting better in the car.  We put some toys on his carseat for him to look at, and if he's not too hungry or tired, he doesn't scream like he used to.  He was a good little traveler at Christmas.  Other than fussing because he was hungry, he didn't seem to have any issues with flying.  Even when he hardly slept during the day and didn't get to go to bed until late on the days we flew, he did surprisingly well.  He is pretty flexible, and several people commented on how chill he is.

We had to do a little bit of work this month on the sleep situation, and he is starting to do better.  He still wakes up two or three times a night usually, but that is a lot better than it was.  Probably the biggest improvements are that he is now sleeping in his own crib, I don't have to rock him for 30+ minutes every time he needs to sleep, and he no longer wakes up immediately when I set him down.  Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit has been a big help with these things and allows us to not have to swaddle him.  I have also realized that sometimes he just needs 5 or 10 minutes to fuss a little and put himself back to sleep.  I used to rush in as soon as he made noise and I think I was keeping him from learning how to go back to sleep on his own.

We love our little munchkin!